Happy Birthday Zack

Today (Bulgarian time) is Zack's 12th birthday. I have no idea how he is celebrating it, even if he is celebrating it. I know at his old doma they had a little party and got some gifts. I know some of the staff would do Maria's nails and other girly things on her birthday. But I don't know what is happening right now for Zack and to be honest it is a little heartbreaking to me. I wish he knew that a family wants him and is working on getting him home. So, right before Christmas Maria reminded me about Zack's birthday. I ended up contacting the NGO working on his file and asked about getting him a gift. Well, it just so happens that a family will be at Zack's doma the week of January 7 and they are willing to take him a gift from us! We got him a Lego set and a photo album filled with pictures of Maria since the last time he saw her. I hope to send more pictures when his new family is ready to travel on their first trip.

This weekend I was also blessed by the foundation founder sending me several photos of Maria and Zack from right before I picked her up in June. I quickly shared these photos with Zack's waiting family and Shelley who helped to find them. I also thought I would share a couple with you.

 

Now, Maria has been told that she needs to wait before dating...mom just isn't ready for that stage of life yet!

Happy Birthday Zack. I hope and pray it is a good day for you and that the small gift you get in a few weeks will brighten your day and remind you that we do love you. Waiting anxiously for the day you and Maria are together again!

 

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Chicago week

We had a fun time in Chicago the last few days. Maria was very excited to hang out with her cousins there. She and Scarlett are already good friends. In fact we found the snuggling together while sleeping one night. It was very cute!

We did go to the Bulgarian market for some goodies. Both ladies we met last time were there again. One came up and talked to Maria right away and helped her choose some goodies. The other we saw when we checked out. She was already chatting with an older lady in Bulgarian and then forgot to switch to English for me. I just laughed and said that's ok Maria understands. Which then lead the older lady to ask me questions about Maria. I kindly explained that Maria was adopted from Stara Zagora and had been home almost 6 months and that we are working hard to maintain her Bulgarian. I was told that was good and that I should send her to Bulgarian school at least one day a week. Unfortunately there isn't a Bulgarian school in Iowa....but I did explain that we Skype weekly with people in Bulgaria which seemed to make her happy. It is nice to see that the Bulgarians here want the kids to maintain part of their birth country. Oh, and we couldn't leave without Maria being given some free gifts again! This time a mouse pad and a sinch sack.

We also attempted making gingerbread houses...yeah didn't work at all, but it was fun to try. Yesterday we went to Shedd Aquarium. We saw many things. Maria loves penguins after seeing Mr. Popper's Penguins...so that was high on her list. We also now have a pink and white penguin (toy) named Cotton Candy (per Koa's suggestion). The Shedd was fun, but very tiring...too many people. In fact Maria couldn't get out of her wheelchair the entire time because of the crowds. It is also amazing the number of people who can see you coming and just stand there in the way.....I don't know how many times we had to ask people to move just to get Maria through the crowds.....but other times people were overly considerate of us. I guess it just shows you that there are many people who make up this world.

 

 

 

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Christmas

Merry Christmas everyone. Today marks 6 months out of the orphanage for Maria! Yesterday, we stayed all day with my parents. We watched a couple movies, made cookies and treats, had a visit with my grandparents and went to Christmas Eve service at my parents' church. Lots of fun.

Maria hanging out yesterday morning....wishing her cousins would come soon!

I found this red sweater for Maria on clearance at Target. Love it....just was surprised by how grown up she looked in it. I think she is going to be quite the beauty as she continues to grow up.

Maria gets a kick out of the animals....this would be one of my parents' cats....a very gentle giant.

We did have a surprise by my niece spending the night last night. She was too tired to go to 11pm  mass with her dad. This morning Maria got to have pancakes and watch a Christmas movie with her cousin while we waited for my brother and nephew to arrive. Then onto the opening of gifts. Maria had fun with everything.

Stocking time!

Yes, she finally got a bike helmet. Her uncle is very much into bikes and wanted her to have one of the best helmets out there.

Her gift from the cats...it was 100% black Pippin themed.

Playing with some of the American Girl things she got.

Overall we had a nice day. We are spending a quite night at home and will be working on multiplication facts....ongoing item of contention in our house. I say she has to learn them, she would rather avoid them. Off to make an easy dinner. Hope everyone had a nice holiday with their family too. So happy that this year Maria is with me!

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Metcha Day

So, our Metcha Day was actually on the 19th.  It has been a year since I met Maria in person.  I still can remember that day....the drive that seemed to take forever...getting lost on the way to the orphanage....not realizing I was going to met her right then....and her smile when she was told that I wanted to be her mom. 

This week Maria and I have done a lot of talking about the trip week last year.  We have talked about my feelings and Maria has asked some interesting questions and made some interesting statements.

She has asked about what different family members thought when they found out about her and who found about about her first.  I can say that my parents were the first to find out and were 110% supportive.  Actually everyone was supportive with the exception of one aunt, who made some rather inappropriate comments about Maria's disability.  Let's just say that she isn't in the picture really and I made sure that family knew if they couldn't accept Maria, then they would not be in our lives.  I know that might sound harsh, but Maria had been through 11 years of rejection, I was not about to allow her to be put in a position where she would be rejected by those who are suppose to be her family.  Needless to say the naysayers snapped in line quickly.

She also asked me if I was sad that she walked with crutches and braces.  Talk about flooring me....I told her no I wasn't sad.  I was happy that she could walk and that is the way God made her.  God wanted me to be her mom and even though I was a little scared about what her spina bifida meant, I knew that we would make it work.  And I will add that having a child with a physical disability is so eye opening....there are so many things you don't think about until you have to think about them through your child's eyes.  Maria has also been the biggest blessing.  She is so very happy and cheerful, yes she has her moods, but the joy she has is so beautiful.  Joy really was the perfect middle name for her.  I had hoped that her condition would get better coming to the USA, but I know it won't and that is fine....she is who she is because of how God made her....I wouldn't want her any other way.

I think the hardest thing she told me was that on the day we met for the first time, Zack cried when he found out.  I can't imagine how hard that was for him to hear that his best friend was going to be leaving him....that once again he wasn't chosen.  Knowing this now, I'm so happy I always included something for him in Maria's packages.  I cannot wait until he finds out that he too has been chosen by a family.

So, yesterday with a storm looming in our near future we went out to eat.  Had a nice time together and then had a snow day today.  Ok, we didn't get that much snow, but the temps have been really low and we were under a blizzard warning most of the day.  We both got to sleep in and I got a nap (yeah!).  Maria also had another first....she walked on snow for the first time today!  I should have gotten a picture of it, but I was too busy worrying that she would fall and have an upset kid on my hands to do both.  I must say she did awesome and I was so proud of her.

A year

One year ago today my good friend and fellow adoptive mom, Dora Beth and I boarded a plane out of O'Hare and started the long journey to Bulgaria to meet Maria.  It was a whirlwind week full of lots of emotions and experiences.  Glad I had an amazing friend with me on the journey who could understand what was going on.

Everyone always is asking how Maria is doing with her English or at school.  So, I decided to film her reading tonight.  Now, just know this is a first time read....we had never read this book before.  I think she is doing pretty good considering her age and that she has been home just over 5 months.

Daydo Koleda

Last weekend we went and saw Daydo Koleda.  It was a fun thing to do this year.  Although Maria didn't ask Santa for anything.  She later told me at the doma that Daydo Koleda would give them a present when he visited....this time she just got a candy cane.

After a day like today, I feel so blessed to have Maria home with me this Christmas.  I can't imagine the grief and pain that 26 families are dealing with right now.....praying that healing can occur for these families.

5 Months home

I can't say that we did anything amazing on Sunday.  We both were just moving slow and decided to have a pajama day and watch Christmas movies.  We did a little Skype and prepared for Monday.  To be honest I totally forgot it was 5 months yesterday that Maria came home.  So, how did I remember....this morning in the car Maria announced "5 months, America!"  It took me a minute, but I got it.  Yes, she still speaks in broken sentences if she can get away with it....it isn't that she can't say a full sentence, it is more that she is doing the main words to get her point across.

Anyway tonight we took some Christmas pictures.  I needed to get some Christmas cards made up...so here area a few.

Pippin didn't really want to be in the picture.

Libby loves the jingle bells....so it was easy to get her in some pictures.

Thanksgiving

Last year on November 22nd it was 2 days before Thanksgiving.  I was frustrated and very discouraged with the adoption process.  I had hoped and prayed that I would have been in Bulgaria to meet Maria by her birthday....but it didn't happen.  It seemed like every time I accomplished a step another requirement was being heaped onto me with the process.  Finally on the evening of the 22nd I got the call....I had travel dates for the week before Christmas.  I wasn't over the moon, like I though I would be.  I was just drained and had no way to know that this would be minor compared to the other hoops and frustration I would go through until I was able to get her home. 

Maria's first Thanksgiving!

Today I was so thankful that Maria was finally home to celebrate with us.  She is truly loved in our family.  It was a long and hard journey at times....there are things I wish would have happened differently, but in the end the most important thing is that Maria is home.  So, for those of you in the process....yes, it is hard, there are times you will want to give up, there will be times when you cry, you will feel emotions more intensely than you can imagine and one day you will realize why it is all worth it and it will be behind you.  You will not forget the harshness of the process, but you will realize that you have fought harder for this child than most will ever realize.  Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.

12th Birthday

Yesterday was Maria's 12th birthday!  She took treats into school on Monday to her friends.

I made the cake...ok I know it isn't perfect, but it did taste good and it was the requested pink.

She spent the day hanging out at my parents home....coloring, watching a movie and just resting.

Blowing out the candles!

She has been talking about wanting a "crown" for months....now she has two.

She loved being the center of attention.  She did spend the day in her wheelchair to let her leg rest and heal some.

Surgery

At the end of August I found out that Maria needed surgery on her leg....she had 2 pins in her leg right above the knee that were working their way out of the bone.  The big concern was that one was pointed towards the main artery in the leg....no one was sure how close it was to the artery.  After what seemed like forever we got the x-rays from Shriners (hint for anyone who isn't 100% sure about their child's initial doctor, leave with a copy of any x-rays in hand....places like Shriners won't release the x-rays to another doctor even with a parental consent). 

We finally got the surgery scheduled for this week.  I was really hoping for the week between Christmas and New Years, but the surgeon wasn't able to do that week.  So, it was either this week or wait until January....figured that we had a better chance of having decent weather this week.  So, it was planned for Tuesday.  We did the whole pre surgery appointment the Friday before. 

We got to the hospital and checked in by 9:30 as expected.  Maria wasn't overly thrilled about this whole process at all, not that I can blame her.  We were quickly taken to a pre surgery room.  Where I had to answer a ton of questions for the hundredth time, but everyone was nice.  We had a great nurse and the anesthesiologist was a hoot.  It also helped that the foundation's founder (Manuela) said that we could Skype with her at any time that day.  Manuela helped to give Maria a little extra comfort prior to surgery....she was also concerned about the surgery and wanted us to call her as soon as Maria was out of surgery.  It just shows how invested people were and still are in Maria.

Yeah, doesn't she looked thrilled

More of a smile

Hanging out with her pillow pet.  

Changed and ready for the operation room, well kind of.

She was so brave!

They were great and allowed me to go back into the OR with her while they put her under....yes, I got to wear all the crazy garb.  She did so well....they gave her a little laughing gas to calm her down then a second gas to knock her out....when the second gas was given she struggled a little and was saying no....a few tears escaped at that point (other than that there were no tears, which I was so surprised about).  At the point she was out, I was out of the OR and sent to the waiting room to wait with my mom. 

The surgery was just at an hour, everything went great.  The doctor came and talked with me.  He said that other than having to make the incision a little bigger than he wanted to (b/c of all the scar tissue) things went well.  He even said she was coming out of sleep and smiled at him when they were wheeling her out.  We were taken to the Recovery Room 1 and got to be with her.  She kept asking when we could leave....she wanted OUT of there!  Couldn't blame her at all for that one.  It took a while for us to get moved to Recovery Room 2 (yes there are 2 stages of recovery).  She was able to eat a little here and drink some juice.  No issues at all. We also did a Skype call with Manuela to let her know how things went.   We finally were released from Recovery room 2 and got her medication (it was suppose to be done at 2:30, yeah right).  We didn't get out of there till after 3pm.  LONG day!

Recovery room 2....she is being a good sport.

This is the "I want out of here now" face

Ok, so here is what I learned:
1.  Maria hates the auto blood pressure machine (but will laugh if you tell her it is just hugging her arm).
2.  Surgery will take ALL day and you will be tired and worn out even if you are the one waiting.
3.  Even doctors will show their stupidity...specifically male doctors.  Now before you judge me on this one, here is the story.  Maria has to wear pullups b/c of her Spina Bifida, she doesn't have bladder or bowel control which is typical.  We put a fresh pullup on her prior to surgery and the nurse noted it on her chart.  Yup, the male doctors took it off her and placed a size 4 diaper kinda under her....I'm pretty sure any mom out there can guess how well that didn't work.  I was rather ticked off about this one since my poor kid had to lay in a bed that had pee all over it.
4.  Hospitals are designed to keep you in once you are there.
5.  There is something wrong about a hospital charging you for parking when you are there for surgery.

Maria is doing great.  She was walking around today and did really well.