SB Picnic

Just posted a YouTube video of Maria figuring out that she can kick a soccer ball.  We went to the Spina Bifida Association picnic yesterday.  It was fun getting to meet people and see the kids have lots of fun.  The kids got to participate in events.  Maria got a medal for her soccer skills!  I was one proud momma watching her figure out how to kick the ball!  She made lots of new friends and tried some new things.  All the kids were amazing and so willing to try everything.  At one point Maria saw the other 11 year old girl running and I could just see the wheels turning in her head, thinking how can I do that too.

Maria hanging out with some new friends.  She really liked these two girls (one is also 11 and the other is older)

Maria bouncing a bad-mitten birdie

Getting her medal

That face says it all!  It was a great day!

This morning at church I was noticing that Maria is walking a lot faster than she was.  I commented to my friend about it and she agreed.  When Maria knows where she is going and is sure of the surface she is walking on, she is getting there faster!  Her gait even seems to be improving some to me....can't wait for the PT to see her in almost 2 weeks.

On a disappointing note, the family that was shown Z decided that they were not his family.  I'm sadden by this, but also understand that if they were not sure they should not proceed.  I believe there is a family out there for Z and J.  I hope that with the help of some pretty amazing people we will be able to help these boys find families.  If you are interested in either of them or know someone who might be, please let me know.

Learning how to kick

Friends left behind

I have spoken many times of Maria's friend "Z".  I don't know if the family that was sent his information sees him as part of their family or not.  I hope that I do hear something soon.  He is a wonderful boy who needs a family.  My friend Viviane even wrote a profile for him...here it is:

Zane was born in 2000 and has been in orphanage care since infancy.  Zane is wheelchair-bound with scoliosis and cerebral palsy.  He is a bright and engaging boy that until recently was well loved and sheltered at an orphanage for younger children.  However, he was finally transferred to an older child home last month.  Zane makes friends easily and is developmentally on target aside from typical orphanage delays.

 

Zane’s best friend of over a decade was adopted to the United States in June and both children are heart-broken to see their lives so far apart now.

  

Well, yesterday Maria and I were on Skype with Manuela.  I was able to ask her about the 2 other children who are featured on the foundations' website that Maria talks about all the time.  Here is J's story.  J was born with some kind of syndrome (not sure what), he was not expected to live more than a few hours and now is a healthy 11 year old boy!  J was born missing the front part of his skull/forehead.  His brain was down lower than it should have been and being held in place only by the muscles and skin of the face.  His eyes were at the sides of his head instead of in front.  He really had no nose to speak of and on top of all of that he was missing a foot.  As I said they didn't expect this boy to live, but he did and he even started walking!  From what I have heard he scared the nurses and staff at the orphanage because they were so concerned he would fall and hurt his head/brain.  Well, he has had many surgeries...they placed some kind of man made forehead for him....repositioned his eyes....build him a nose using a part of a different bone and he has a prosthetic foot.  Did I mention that he is developmentally and academically on target?  Well he is!  He goes to the public school in his town.  Is still watched over by the foundation that helped Maria and Z.  Manuela asked if there was any chance that someone would want to adopt him.  I'm not sure....but I have now put her in touch with someone to see if that is something that can happen for this little fighter!

I didn't find out much about the other boy "S".  I know he and J are at the same orphanage and that he has some kind of braces for his legs, but that the current staff really don't know how he is suppose to wear them and he often isn't wearing them when he should.

Bulgarian adoption 2012

Sorry this video was made private on YouTube because of the NGO I used obtaining the link.

Maria at Playground

Playground pictures

Maria wanted to go to a playground today, so I took her to one of the schools I work with.  It has a wonderful playground and a great rubber mat type flooring which is good for her to walk on.  It would have been a lot more fun if it hadn't been 106 degrees outside!  Sent the pictures and videos to Manuela to see...she continues to be amazed at all Maria can do!  Hard to believe a few years ago Maria was loosing the ability to walk.  Thank God for people like Manuela and Dr. Bruno who helped her along her journey home.

Maria went right over, put her crutches down and started climbing up!

Wild slide ride

Wish other kids would have been there, but don't blame them in this heatwave!

She did really great getting herself to where she wanted to be!

One last look down at mom

Not as wild a ride this time

Even got her to try the rock wall...had to help her with placing her right foot, but she did great!

Success!

Braces, Teeth and Tears

Well Friday was a L.O.N.G. day.  We started out driving to Des Moines to find out if Maria needs new braces.  Yes, she does...AFO and KAFO (not cheap at all).  But she does really need them and soon.  Her current braces are at least 2 1/2-3 years old.  Manuela told me this on Saturday morning when we were on Skype.  She was so sweet about it saying that they wanted to apologize that they didn't send her with newer braces.  After getting her legs cast we ran to the shoe store to find some shoes for her.  One shoe has to be built up so that it makes her right leg longer.  This will cost about $50 per shoes to do...not that big of a deal.  Then had to drop the shoes back off at the office so that they could be done in time for school.  Will be calling Shriner's tomorrow to see if there is anyway they can consult on the braces and save me some out of pocket expenses....if not we will get these done right before school starts

Took us a while to get out of Des Moines and find a place to eat.  Then we headed to the CDD (Center for Disabilities and Development) in Iowa City to see a pediatric dentist.  The CDD is great it is completely for kids who have any kind of disability or developmental issues.  They were really great.  The staff know how to work with kids who have different needs.  Now, Maria had been talking about the dentist all week, so I didn't think going was going to be an issue.  After all the poking and prodding she has been through....um think again.  Got her to the room where the dentist and his assistant could count her teeth....once she was lying back she started crying, wouldn't open her mouth, was so very upset!  Finally they kind of got her teeth counted, they even pulled up google translate to let her know what they wanted her to do (which did help some).  Got her to brush her teeth and she did let him check to see how clean she brushed them.  He was able to do a little scraping/cleaning on the teeth and paint the teeth vitamins on the teeth.  She was fine when we left until about half way home and she looked at me and said "dentist?"  I told her we had been to the dentist and that she was crying there so the dentist didn't do much.  This made her start to cry again....why, because she knows she has teeth that need to be pulled and she wanted them pulled.  So, here is the issue.  Maria has several baby teeth that are loose and need to come out...the other teeth are already in.  Because of her reaction the dentist is recommending that she be given a sedative and that they do the work all at one time.  I know that they need to come out and we are working on them together.  She has said she wants me to pull them out verse the dentist (which I think is great, she trusts me more than some stranger).  We have gotten about 2 full teeth and 2 partial teeth out...basically the centers of the teeth are hallow and they are breaking (which can't feel good).  She still has a lot of fear about it hurting. We did talk to my Bulgarian friend about it and she was able to help Maria know that the teeth will be taken care of and it will only hurt a little.  Manuela was able to explain things a little better to me.  She said that Maria has had so much pain with her surgeries over the years that she has a very high fear of being in pain.  Which makes total sense.  So, we are trying to deal with it together and help ease her fears.

The other morning I opened an email from the head of a NGO in Bulgaria who has been helping me figure out Maria's best friend Z's waiting child number.  Well....I knew she had  found his number and we had been discussing how to find Z a family.  Well...the email said that one of her partner agencies in the USA has a family who is interested in adopting a boy that almost fits Z 100%!  Seriously, I just started crying, tears of joy!  She asked if the family can contact me since I have met Z.  I said YES, of course.  I want to see this boy with a family!  Now here is the funny thing....my friend who went on trip 1 with me and got to meet Maria and Z....she and her husband are using the same US agency as this family!  What are the chances?!?  So, hopefully Z will soon have a family fighting for him to come home.  I also hope that Maria and Z will be able to meet again one day and renew their friendship.

Medical appts and other things

Well, Maria had her first visit to her new pediatrician.  I went in with a list of referrals that I wanted...names, addresses and phone numbers.  The doctor was great with the referrals and with Maria.  We got what we needed.  Afterward we went to one of my co-worker's home to hang out and to have lunch.  It was fun Maria did a few new things....she walked on uneven grass hill and she was able to get on a trampoline.  She loved laying on the trampoline and being bounced by my co-worker's wife and kids.  My co-worker's wife even told me that Maria can come to their home on late start days and after school until I can pick her up.  Which I am so excited about.  I couldn't ask for a more trustworthy person to watch my child.  And the best part all she is charging me is exchange of babysitting!  She also gave me the number for the U of I pediatric dentist that works with kids with special needs.  Gave them a call and we have an appointment on Friday.  We also have our first PT appointment tomorrow.  Couldn't get into Shriners until the end of August, but we will make that work out.

Maria continues to do really well.  She is saying more and more in English.  She is adding descriptor words to our animals and certain people.  Such as one of the cats is now called "Black Pippin", my parent's dog is "Shilo girl" and the newest is for my brother "Uncle James two" which means uncle James has 2 earrings, which she thinks is very funny. 

I also made her do some picking up in her room.  I was in there helping a bit and decided to unpack her backpack from the orphanage.  I thought I knew what was in there...well, unknown to me was more contact information on staff members and the famous Bulgarian tennis star Manuela Maleeva.  Manuela ended up getting an ortho surgeon to start a foundation called Swissclinical.  They went to Maria's orphanage to help consult on certain cases and help improve the care of the children.  Maria was one of the children who benefited from these people.  We have several pictures of Maria with Manuela.  Well, I sent our more Skype requests and an email to those contacts.  Not long after Manuela accepted us on Skype and we did a video chat with her.  She is very nice and has excellent English.  She was so happy and surprised to get to see and talk with Maria!  I think we will hear from her again and she said she would update the ortho surgeon Dr. Bruno.  Hopefully they will get to see the long term impact their work has had on Maria's life.

Also, Maria continues to prove that she is a little dare devil.  Not long after her success at the zoo she decided she needed to try out my elliptical machine.  She did get up on it, with me giving stability at her waist...of course the hard part was getting down....yup she did start to fall and I helped her go down easy so that we could get her in a better position to get her on her feet.  She was laughing the whole time.  The next day she decided she needed to check out the unfinished part of the basement where the washer and dryer are, while I was doing wash...yeah, she feel again and this time there was no laughing.  Lots of tears and whining.  She was fine, her knee hurt a little.  I really think it had more to do with being mad at herself that she fell and then making a bigger deal about it to get more attention (which I think she might have had to do at the orphanage at times).  The next day she also fell this time she was holding onto the oven door while I was making lunch and leaned back to look at one of the cats and didn't realize that the door would move...yup more tears and whining.  Got her up and gave her an ice pack.  She was fine, again more upset about what happened.  I have told her that I'm going to let her try new things physically and that there will be times when she does fall.  That is part of learning her boundaries.  She can't get better at those things unless she learns what her limits are and how to work around those. 

Other than that we keep working on things and continue to settle in.  We are planning a "Meet Maria" party for friends in Chicago the beginning of August and another for family and friends in Iowa in September. 

Trip to the zoo

So, one of my co-workers for the past few years is starting a new job and wanted to get to meet Maria.  I asked her if she would be interested in going to the zoo.  We decided, kinda last minute to go today.  My amazing daughter only used her crutches to walk around the zoo!  She even surprised me by a few of the things she was willing to try.  She climbed into a big dino egg to get her picture taken...she had to get her legs over a tall step and stand in a curved bottom of the egg...not the easiest to do with braces on your legs or with her medical condition.  Now for some pictures...

Checking out some animals

She wasn't sure about going in there at first

Then didn't want to leave

Had to climb up some big steps for this too!

I think she would pose this way for all pictures it I let her

Watching the seals

Lion

In the BIG egg with a new friend

petting a calf

Playing with my co-worker

posing in the kangaroo pouch

getting tired

The above video was at the end of our time at the zoo.  She decided she wanted to walk on the rope swing bridge!  Totally shocked me...so proud that she did an amazing job!

More details of Gotcha Day

Ok, I can say I have been dreading sharing this story openly.  My family and some friends know it.  It was just such a very hard emotional day for all.

I guess I should start by explaining about Maria's orphanage.  Maria was at the Medical-Social home in Stara Zagora.  The home is for children birth to 7 years old.  The director, who is a very nice man, kept Maria and her friend Z there because of how special they are.  He even referred to her as his princess.  The other staff there were equally as close and loving towards her from what I know.  Because Maria and Z were the oldest ones at the orphanage they were allowed to do special things.  I recently learned they even had a tv in their room (something she does not have here).  A very popular and famous Bulgarian tennis star even helped them with getting the equipment and medical treatments they needed.  The psychologist worked with these two kids on family roles, feelings about not being adopted and seeing their friends leave, etc.  She had shared in December that Maria had said that the psychologist was like their mom and the director was like their dad.  These kids were in amazing hands and they are best friends!

So, on our gotcha day I was picked up early.  I had told my mom I wanted to do this part alone.  I knew it would be hard and that additional people there (even my mom) might make it even harder for the kids.  So, we left Sofia and I was told that we would be making a stop at another orphanage to check on another child.  I was also told that I should get some kind of treat (candy or a cake) for the going away celebration.  I also discovered that there was much communication between the orphanage and the Bulgarian agency between my trips.  Maria and everyone else knew I was coming on this day.  The interpreter had also been asked to be there by 11am because a staff member was leaving at that time and wanted to say goodbye to Maria.  We didn't know that it was the psychologist and she would be taking Z to his new orphanage.

We finally made it to the orphanage around 10:30.  The director and psychologist were in the waiting room waiting for our arrival.  I had a special gift for Z (a remote control car with plenty of batteries) and a backpack with a new outfit for Maria in it (which I was later told she didn't need to change into because she was ready to leave).  I was ushered into the Director's office...we went over paper work, I signed a few things.  At this point I was told that Z would be transferred at 11am to a new facility.  I was so sad...here he was loosing his best friend and his home.  I was able to ask the director about Z and did find out he is on the waiting child list (we are working hard to find his waiting child number now and start advocating to find him a family).  I was told I could email the director any questions I had about Maria or Z.  I also let them know that I wanted the staff to have updates on Maria...they in many ways have been her family for the last 11 years and need to know she is doing well.  The director did include a list of staff contact information and a few poems that staff had written for Maria.  I also was given an amazing gift of a photo album of Maria.  The youngest picture being her at 3 years old to ones that were just a few months old.  At this point the director who what showing me the pictures and reminiscing was called out of the room....a few minutes later he returned took my hands and told me to be strong, the children were not taking the separation well. We grabbed all my stuff and went out to the lobby.  There were many people there...Z was the closest to us and he wheeled himself closer...crying and wailing.  I bent down and helped him pull his gift out of the bag and was able to hand it to a staff member for him.  He then turned and wheeled himself back to Maria (who was over by the stairs).  The psychologist handed me a few tissues (which I split with my translator....yes, we were both crying, everyone was).  These two kids were hugging, holding on to each other and wailing the whole time.  I ended up walking up to Maria and she did come over and allowed me to hug her as she cried and some staff member talked to Z.  They then wheeled Z outside to a waiting van.  Maria got 1 step outside (crying the whole time) and was scooped up by the director and carried down to the vehicle we arrived in.  To make the situation even worse the two vehicles were facing each other and the kids could see each other.  No time or chance to get any going away pictures or really give out the gifts that I had for the staff (was able to give one to the director, psychologist and social worker, gave the rest to a staff member to give to the other main people).  Each child had their own little gathering of staff with them saying goodbye.  The director said his last goodbye to "Princess Mimi" as he refers to her.  As we left the orphanage Maria just waved at the other car and Z while crying and wailing the whole time.  I tried several things to calm her and none worked.  Finally I just pulled out the iPad and showed her a picture of Val's daughter Alexis (who was one of her friends at the orphanage).  I had the translator explain to her that I know Val and had met Alexis and that we plan on getting the girls together again.  This was a HUGE turning point.  I also let her know that myself and several friends back in the states are going to try to find Z a family.  This seemed to help her a lot.  As we drove, she relaxed and started to become the happy kid I knew from the visits.

It was a long ride back to Sofia, about 2 1/2 hours....but she did great.  I got her settled in and she met her grandma/baba.  She seemed to do well most of the day.  There were a few crying times where the sadness, grief and worry for Z hit her.  We managed through them.  She really has done well since then.  We had another weepy day when we got stuck in Rome and she realized she wasn't going to America.  When we finally touched down in Atlanta I turned to her and said "Welcome to the United States" she looked at me and said "America?" and I was finally able to say "yes, America!"  I know there will be hard days a head, that is part of adoption.  Maria did have her very first Skype video call from Bulgaria this morning.  She was surprised and happy to see the staff member....and in case you were wondering, no tears, no behavior, no observed sadness after the contact....just smiles.

3 Days home

Tuesday...I planed that this would be a stay at home as much as possible day.  I knew I needed to run to the store to get a few things and some food, but other than that I wanted Maria to be at home and get acclimated to her new home.  My mom helped out by coming over and staying with her.  We also had a special guest come and visit us...Anna, an amazing young lady who was adopted from Bulgaria when she was 10.  Her parents live in Iowa and she was visiting a friend nearby.  She came over and ended up getting Maria to teach her some Bulgaria again.  They really hit it off and I hope that Maria will get to spend more time with Anna.

4th of July we spent at my parent's home.  Maria had fun playing with a doll house and pop-beads (great fine motor activity by the way....we both got our work out on those beads).  My brother even stopped by to spend some more time with Maria and the rest of the family.  By the afternoon Maria really started opening up to everyone.  She even left her crutches by a chair and cruised around the table and couch with out them.  She was following my mom around the kitchen and even tried to block her from coming upstairs.  She then started playing with my dad...he wasn't sure if she liked him when he picked us up from the airport, now there is no doubt.  She also got to meet my grandparents (her great-grandparents).  My grandmother is just in love with her...even wants to take her to get her ears pierced...I begged for years to get my ears pierced and she didn't offer to take me when I did get mine done.  Talked about a date for a "Meet Maria" party for family and friends in Iowa (also planning one for the Chicago area).  We also had sparklers...Maria was rather unsure about those.  Although she was interested in the few fireworks we saw on the way home.  She was too tired to stay up to see the big fireworks show.

Thursday....today we went up to Iowa City.  First I needed to take her to the outlet mall to get some shorts.  The capri pants just aren't working well at times and it is HOT here....my car was reading 102 at times today (YUCK).  On the way to the mall I got a big surprise...Maria decided to start saying all the words she knows in English.  She must have said 50-60 words at least.  She then started to count...she got to 29 with only have difficulty with 13....then some trouble with the 30's (which makes sense to me...that's a hard beginning sound to make)....we then alternated numbers from 40-100.  It was really a nice surprise.  I wore her out...we had to walk outside at the outlet mall and she wasn't thrilled about that.  We also hung out in Iowa City waiting for my Bulgarian friends Annie and Rumen to come.  They were going to be in town today and wanted to meet Maria...since they will soon be moving to Pennsylvania I knew the opportunities would be limited.  I'm glad that Maria got to meet them.  She was charming as usual.  They were able to ask her some questions....I got a few answers confirmed (such as the orphanage didn't let her walk out side on her crutches).  Also found out that she had a TV in her room at the orphanage....guess what won't be happening here.  They also commented on how smart she is and how well she is doing.  They were surprised by her adjustment this far (knock on wood!).  They also gave me some tips for making her favorite soup which is a cold yogurt and cucumber soup....think we will be trying to make it sometime soon.

Taking a smoothie break while playing with the doll house

Look at that smile!

Pop-beads were a big hit

Cruising around the couch

Did I mention she is VERY double jointed in her elbows and fingers

getting to know great grandparents

Watching grandpa with sparklers

Pics from Rome