More details of Gotcha Day

Ok, I can say I have been dreading sharing this story openly.  My family and some friends know it.  It was just such a very hard emotional day for all.

I guess I should start by explaining about Maria's orphanage.  Maria was at the Medical-Social home in Stara Zagora.  The home is for children birth to 7 years old.  The director, who is a very nice man, kept Maria and her friend Z there because of how special they are.  He even referred to her as his princess.  The other staff there were equally as close and loving towards her from what I know.  Because Maria and Z were the oldest ones at the orphanage they were allowed to do special things.  I recently learned they even had a tv in their room (something she does not have here).  A very popular and famous Bulgarian tennis star even helped them with getting the equipment and medical treatments they needed.  The psychologist worked with these two kids on family roles, feelings about not being adopted and seeing their friends leave, etc.  She had shared in December that Maria had said that the psychologist was like their mom and the director was like their dad.  These kids were in amazing hands and they are best friends!

So, on our gotcha day I was picked up early.  I had told my mom I wanted to do this part alone.  I knew it would be hard and that additional people there (even my mom) might make it even harder for the kids.  So, we left Sofia and I was told that we would be making a stop at another orphanage to check on another child.  I was also told that I should get some kind of treat (candy or a cake) for the going away celebration.  I also discovered that there was much communication between the orphanage and the Bulgarian agency between my trips.  Maria and everyone else knew I was coming on this day.  The interpreter had also been asked to be there by 11am because a staff member was leaving at that time and wanted to say goodbye to Maria.  We didn't know that it was the psychologist and she would be taking Z to his new orphanage.

We finally made it to the orphanage around 10:30.  The director and psychologist were in the waiting room waiting for our arrival.  I had a special gift for Z (a remote control car with plenty of batteries) and a backpack with a new outfit for Maria in it (which I was later told she didn't need to change into because she was ready to leave).  I was ushered into the Director's office...we went over paper work, I signed a few things.  At this point I was told that Z would be transferred at 11am to a new facility.  I was so sad...here he was loosing his best friend and his home.  I was able to ask the director about Z and did find out he is on the waiting child list (we are working hard to find his waiting child number now and start advocating to find him a family).  I was told I could email the director any questions I had about Maria or Z.  I also let them know that I wanted the staff to have updates on Maria...they in many ways have been her family for the last 11 years and need to know she is doing well.  The director did include a list of staff contact information and a few poems that staff had written for Maria.  I also was given an amazing gift of a photo album of Maria.  The youngest picture being her at 3 years old to ones that were just a few months old.  At this point the director who what showing me the pictures and reminiscing was called out of the room....a few minutes later he returned took my hands and told me to be strong, the children were not taking the separation well. We grabbed all my stuff and went out to the lobby.  There were many people there...Z was the closest to us and he wheeled himself closer...crying and wailing.  I bent down and helped him pull his gift out of the bag and was able to hand it to a staff member for him.  He then turned and wheeled himself back to Maria (who was over by the stairs).  The psychologist handed me a few tissues (which I split with my translator....yes, we were both crying, everyone was).  These two kids were hugging, holding on to each other and wailing the whole time.  I ended up walking up to Maria and she did come over and allowed me to hug her as she cried and some staff member talked to Z.  They then wheeled Z outside to a waiting van.  Maria got 1 step outside (crying the whole time) and was scooped up by the director and carried down to the vehicle we arrived in.  To make the situation even worse the two vehicles were facing each other and the kids could see each other.  No time or chance to get any going away pictures or really give out the gifts that I had for the staff (was able to give one to the director, psychologist and social worker, gave the rest to a staff member to give to the other main people).  Each child had their own little gathering of staff with them saying goodbye.  The director said his last goodbye to "Princess Mimi" as he refers to her.  As we left the orphanage Maria just waved at the other car and Z while crying and wailing the whole time.  I tried several things to calm her and none worked.  Finally I just pulled out the iPad and showed her a picture of Val's daughter Alexis (who was one of her friends at the orphanage).  I had the translator explain to her that I know Val and had met Alexis and that we plan on getting the girls together again.  This was a HUGE turning point.  I also let her know that myself and several friends back in the states are going to try to find Z a family.  This seemed to help her a lot.  As we drove, she relaxed and started to become the happy kid I knew from the visits.

It was a long ride back to Sofia, about 2 1/2 hours....but she did great.  I got her settled in and she met her grandma/baba.  She seemed to do well most of the day.  There were a few crying times where the sadness, grief and worry for Z hit her.  We managed through them.  She really has done well since then.  We had another weepy day when we got stuck in Rome and she realized she wasn't going to America.  When we finally touched down in Atlanta I turned to her and said "Welcome to the United States" she looked at me and said "America?" and I was finally able to say "yes, America!"  I know there will be hard days a head, that is part of adoption.  Maria did have her very first Skype video call from Bulgaria this morning.  She was surprised and happy to see the staff member....and in case you were wondering, no tears, no behavior, no observed sadness after the contact....just smiles.