This and that

On Friday we had our first meeting with our homestudy social worker. It was at a library and we had a great time chatting. So, I didn't prepare the social worker by telling her that Maria has SB and is currently using her wheelchair. One part of our talk was discussing little sister's special needs (all kids adopted from orphanages have special needs of some kind, some are just more obvious than others). SW asked me about how I will manage little sister's SN. I simply looked at Maria and said, after this spring I can handle anything! Then I went on and explained what had happened with Maria. SW agreed, I have it under control. Overall the meeting went well, I have a list of things to gather and get done. Have fees that I need to fundraise for (different post on that).

As we left we saw a man walking with forearm crutches. Maria is very aware of other kids and adults who have physical disabilities. This man was with 2 younger elementary age girls. As I was wrangling Maria's wheelchair into the car, he and I made eye contact and smiled at each other. He said hello and asked how things were going. I told him good and asked how he was. He responded that he was doing the best he could. As I got into the car, Maria commented that she had seen him (which I knew she would). As we drove away I was thinking about him....he was independent, taking his kids to the library. Was life easy for him.....probably not, but he was living life. I'm not sure what he thought of me....I'm sure he understands the challenges Maria and I deal with....I wonder if it made him think of his mom. We don't know each other, but we share an understanding one that so many do not understand.

On Monday I started back to work......my summer break officially over. Maria still has 3 weeks of summer left. She is hanging out at Grandma and Grandpa's home having lots of fun with kittens. She is doing good and very happy that grandma made Moussaka for her. It is a blessing to have family nearby, who love Maria and want her with them when I have to work.

Posted with Blogsy

Paperwork

You know those movies, where the parents decide to adopt and magically they get the perfect baby in no time at all? Yeah, that isn't adoption, that is. Hollywood. Adoption is a lot of paperwork. Right now I'm in the process of beginning a new homestudy. For those who don't know a homestudy isn't scary. It is a social worker coming to your home, checking your finances, medical, past history....asking questions about your family, support system, parenting style, etc. It is a lot of information and very in depth. Part of this process is getting a basic physical and blood test, background checks and FBI finger prints.

I'm hoping this part of the paperwork will be done before the middle of September. I have our first appointment for the homestudy on Friday. I'm excited to get the paperwork started. The sooner I can get the homestudy in hand the sooner I can send in documents to the USCIS (that part can be a bit of a wait). My goal is to have my dossier for little sister in her country by the beginning of November. This momma is motivated.

Posted with Blogsy

Life

Adoption is a part of our everyday life. Some days it plays a bigger part than others. This journey has been long, it hasn't always been easy, I have changed so much from when I first started. When I first started the adoption journey, my plan had been to adopt a toddler as healthy as possible. My thoughts were that the younger a child the less likely for attachment issues, the more years together to see her grow. But then things changed.....I saw Maria's picture. I knew she was suppose to be my daughter. My path changed....I began the process of adopting Maria, who was 10, almost 11 at the time. Giving up the dream of a toddler was difficult. I had to face the possibility that I may never have the chance to adopt again, that I might never have the toddler that I had planned for, but I knew Maria was worth it. Maria's adoption was difficult in so many ways....not because of Maria, but more because of the people I had to work with. The Bulgarian agency I worked with was and is about the money.....not about the kids. They do the minimum for families and caused me a lot stress and anger. My placement agency was better, but in the end had to maintain their relationship with the Bulgarian agency. On my pick up trip they were not there for me....no emails, calls, text, etc. I was hurt and angry that a person who claimed to be my friend wasn't there when I needed her. So, I focused on Maria and what she needed. We created a family and my world has been amazing because of her.

Over the past two years, I have healed. I am finished with the Bulgarian agency I had so many issues with. I'm done with the placement agency now too. I have considered time and time again about adopting again....and time and time again it wasn't the right time, I hadn't seen the right child. The thought of going back into the adoption process has made me feel stressed.....so I have been passive. Saying not yet, I'm fine the way things are, Maria needs a sister someday......just never figuring when that day would be. This past week a friend, who also happens to work for a placement agency, sent me a picture and my world turned upside down. This week has been a hurry of initial paperwork and trips to the notary. Gathering ideas for fundraising (adoption is expensive). There will be more post about our new journey to little sister. Just wanted to let everyone know we are back in the paperwork chase and hopefully within a year we will have little sister home.

Posted with Blogsy

Weekend

We got a break from PT this past week. So we decide that we would go on a short vacation. Maria really wanted to see her friend Alexis, so we went to Indianapolis for a long weekend. We ended up meeting up with Alexis' family at a park on Friday and another adoptive family joined us too. It is always great spending time with families who understand adoption, this time was no different. It was wonderful chatting with my friend Valerie, hearing the plans for meeting J and S next month. Seeing how her kids have grown in over a year and being completely entertained by the two littlest boys. The girls love connecting with each other and all the kids had a blast at the park.

After the park we went out to dinner with our friends Kim, Jason and their son, Nikolas. We actually got to celebrate Nikolas' gotcha/family day. They are a great family to spend time with. We had plans with Kim and Nikolas for Saturday morning at the zoo.

Saturday looked a little questionable weather wise, but we got to the zoo bright and early. The kids had fun looking at all the animals and the weather was nice. I think Kim and I got the biggest kick out of seeing. Nikolas push Maria up and down the hills at the zoo. He was very sweet and protective of her. Wanting to make sure she got to see everything. We made sure we did some of the collector penny machines too. My plan is to eventually make Maria a charm bracelet out of her collector pennies.

 

This guy was too funny, he kept spitting out his food at us and then sucking it back in.

The flamingos liked to inspect everything. Nikolas wasn't so sure they should inspect Maria.

Maria wasn't sure at first about feeding the birds.

After the initial shock, she did a lot better.

I even got to hold a parrot for a while.

After the zoo, we went back to the hotel for a long rest. Then we went to a Greek restaurant with Kim, Jason, Nikolas, Jane and her daughter also adopted from Bulgaria. It was a fun evening with lots of entertainment from the kids and the belly dancer. We will just say one day Kim and Jason have some funny photos and video that Nikolas might not want shared with his friends. It was a good time. We had lots of fun....so much that Maria didn't want to leave.

 

 

 

 

Posted with Blogsy

Fear and Hope

Let's be honest....adoption is hard, it is filled with the unknown and with the unknown comes a lot of fear. Fear on the part of the waiting family, fear for the child, fear of the future. Adoption is a leap of faith not knowing where one will land, what will change, what the new reality will be. I will be honest, I totally lucked out with Maria. Yes, she has medical issues and we have had our share of struggles with those. But in regards to bonding, behavior, and even love and acceptance....well it could not have been a better fit. I'm amazed at times thinking of the leap of faith Maria took in agreeing to be adopted. She has blossomed and grown in so many ways since coming home. She is still the shy girl she has always been around new people, although the shyness around me has ceased. She is still kind and very soft hearted about certain things, but she is also learning to have a voice and state what she likes and doesn't like. She continues to have a great love for her birth country and friends who are still there. Which brings me back to fear.....

Zack....oh Zack.....while Maria has blossomed in a family, fear of the unknown and anger at being left behind has hurt Zack. Zack made the choice, on his own, that he does not want to be adopted. The family who has loved him, traveled to meet him and tried to reach out to him, is honoring his feelings and wishes. I completely support the family's decision and am heartbroken for them. At this time Zack will not be adopted....most likely he will never be adopted, unless he changes his feelings about being adopted. Sadly Zack doesn't understand completely what this decision means for him or for his future. I have let our friends in country know that we will continue to try to help him as we can....although we know this means he will most likely never come to the US. It is uncertain if Maria and Zack will be reunited again, but one can always hope.

Hope....we do have hope at this time too. Hope for 2 if Maria's other friends J and S. Their family has finally gotten verbal approval and they are hoping to visit in August. We are anxious to hear how J and S respond to the news of a family and that they will be brothers and have two sisters who use to be in their group at the orphanage. We are praying they are home in time for Christmas....if that happens we might have a special December trip to plan.

You might wonder how Maria is with all this.....well, she is sad for Zack. She knows he can be very difficult and that everyone has tried their best to help him. She wants him to be adopted, but also has accepted he most likely will not be. Maria is thrilled for J and S. She hopes that there will be many visits with their new family and be reunited with some of her friends. We actually got to Skype last Thanksgiving with J and S and get regular updates on them. These boys are special.....many mommas in at least 3 countries have fought for them to have this chance. I know their new momma is ready to have them home and in her arms.

Thank you to all who helped Zack when we were trying to find him a family.

Posted with Blogsy

Maria update

PT today was great. Maria has been standing in the parallel bars for a while now. Today I brought in her crutches per the PT's request. We started off standing with the crutches then took a break. PT asked Maria if she could try taking a step....first one post surgery. What happened next made me cry!

http://youtu.be/HCaPP-yd9xM

 

 

Posted with Blogsy

2 year Gotcha/Family day

2 years ago I made the long trip to Stara Zagora. Walked up the steps to the orphanage and was met by Maria's director and staff. I signed paperwork, was told that Z would be leaving that day too. Was given pictures of her life and watched as she and her best friend said goodbye.....it was hard, but it was the start to our family. In some ways that day seems so long ago and in other ways it was still so recent. We have both grown a lot, gone through a lot....it has been a journey of love.

Here is a photo look back on the past two years.

 

 

 

Posted with Blogsy