Life

Adoption is a part of our everyday life. Some days it plays a bigger part than others. This journey has been long, it hasn't always been easy, I have changed so much from when I first started. When I first started the adoption journey, my plan had been to adopt a toddler as healthy as possible. My thoughts were that the younger a child the less likely for attachment issues, the more years together to see her grow. But then things changed.....I saw Maria's picture. I knew she was suppose to be my daughter. My path changed....I began the process of adopting Maria, who was 10, almost 11 at the time. Giving up the dream of a toddler was difficult. I had to face the possibility that I may never have the chance to adopt again, that I might never have the toddler that I had planned for, but I knew Maria was worth it. Maria's adoption was difficult in so many ways....not because of Maria, but more because of the people I had to work with. The Bulgarian agency I worked with was and is about the money.....not about the kids. They do the minimum for families and caused me a lot stress and anger. My placement agency was better, but in the end had to maintain their relationship with the Bulgarian agency. On my pick up trip they were not there for me....no emails, calls, text, etc. I was hurt and angry that a person who claimed to be my friend wasn't there when I needed her. So, I focused on Maria and what she needed. We created a family and my world has been amazing because of her.

Over the past two years, I have healed. I am finished with the Bulgarian agency I had so many issues with. I'm done with the placement agency now too. I have considered time and time again about adopting again....and time and time again it wasn't the right time, I hadn't seen the right child. The thought of going back into the adoption process has made me feel stressed.....so I have been passive. Saying not yet, I'm fine the way things are, Maria needs a sister someday......just never figuring when that day would be. This past week a friend, who also happens to work for a placement agency, sent me a picture and my world turned upside down. This week has been a hurry of initial paperwork and trips to the notary. Gathering ideas for fundraising (adoption is expensive). There will be more post about our new journey to little sister. Just wanted to let everyone know we are back in the paperwork chase and hopefully within a year we will have little sister home.

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