Another Pinterest project

So, a few weeks ago a friend on FB posted the cutest project she had found on Pinterest. Seriously it is simple, but stinky. You melt pony beads into flowers, then attach them to different things for girls. I thought they looked cute and fun....something Maria and my niece would enjoy making. I bought neon pony beads and all the fixings for rings, necklaces, earrings and hair clips. Last night Maria and I melted the beads with the windows and door open...fan was going and later on decided to burn a candle to take the stench away.

Here are our first results....not to bad. The single dots are for the earrings we planned to make.

Today we went to my parents' home to spend some time with them and invited my niece to come over too. The girls matched up flowers they wanted with the type of jewelry they wanted. I helped with the glue since it was an extremely sticky glue that jeweler's use. Here are our results!

A FB friend has stated I should use these for fund raising for my next adoption...you never know I might just do that.

 

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Changes

Oh, are changes hard. For a while now Maria has made comments about not wanting to go to sixth grade next year. She has even teared up about it this spring. For Maria going to sixth grade means leaving some consistent and caring adults....her teachers Ms. D, Ms. B and class associate Mrs. W. Yes, she will still be in the same school building with them, but she won't be with them and this is hard for her. She is very use to adults being consistently in her life. I know that sounds odd knowing that she was in an orphanage for so long, but she had the same main caregivers most of her life. Consistency was there.

Yesterday we had a transitional meeting with the special education teacher who will help Maria next year (she has special education to help with her physical needs at school). Maria was in the meeting and did a great job talking about what she has done in PE to next year's PE teacher. We talked about several other things to help her become more independent at school. A few times Maria got upset and started to tear up about the changes that are coming. I have a feeling these changes will alway be harder for her.

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Hair

One of the things I have been wanting to do is cut my hair. So, a while ago I asked on FB if anyone was willing to cut their hair with me and donate it to Children With Hairloss (an organization setup by a fellow adoptive parent's mom). A few said yes and we started to talk about when to cut it at the Bulgarian Adoptive Family Reunion. Well....long story short, we all decided it would be easier to cut at home and collect it at the reunion. On Friday I went and cut my hair. Forgive the bad pics

Before

After

My donation

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1 year ago

One year ago today my court date finally happened. I was finally, legally Maria's mom. What a long journey it had been to get to that point....and now one year later, I'm dealing with typical preteen behaviors. It is good, it is also hard at times....not that Maria does anything that is difficult to deal with yet. Just the whole consistency piece at times is hard. But we get through it...even if that means someone has an early bed time.

As for us, we are winding down the end of the school year! Woo Hoo! Soon we will be on our vacation to Virginia. Since my parents can't go now, it is going to be a good friend and her kids going with us. Two adults and five kids....what are we thinking ?!? Actually we are both super excited about the trip and are ready to go have a blast! In fact I feel like we are texting or talking about it almost daily at times.

Love my girl!

 

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Snow in May?!?

Yup, on Friday we had snow....May 3rd and there was snow on the ground.  Not normal for us at all...2 days before it had been 80 degrees outside.  So, what is the big deal about snow in May?  Well, this snow made a mess....a wet, slick mess to be specific....and while we were driving to work and school, I lost control of the car.  Thank God no one was hurt....shaken and a little frazzled, but not hurt at all.  My car on the other hand....well, lets just say it isn't pretty.  I should find out tomorrow if the insurance company is going to total it out. 
My co-work had to tell me that "No one is going to believe you had a car accident in May due to snow."  That's ok, if they don't....just grateful and thankful that no one was hurt.  Right now I have a happy kid who loves the red rental car.

10 Months home

Time has flown by....I know soon we will be celebrating Maria's Gotcha Day aka Family Day.  To be honest it feels like she has been here forever.  I was just commenting on how different things were a year ago.  This was such a stressful time last year, waiting for news and just getting delay after delay.  I am so happy that part of the process is over and Maria is home.  As for Maria....she continues to improve with her English all the time....although yesterday she was complaining about how hot the car was and said it was spicy....not the right hot.  She has a pretty good friend at school.  She is talking more and more to other people and they are noticing.  She is doing some more testing, but I'm not sure how much of that is related to language, time of year or just the age. 

Things have been busy with us to be honest.  The school year is almost done and we are both gearing up for vacation time.  June is already filling up quickly with events and appointments. 

What we have been doing:

• Swimming lessons
• Piano lessons
• Trying to find a racing wheelchair for Maria to try out
• Homework....ugh homework
• Trying to find a new swim coach with more experience with physical disabilities...yeah, let's just say this mom has high expectations and we need a coach/instructor who is going to push Maria a little more.
• My dad is having more health issues......please pray, things are not good
• My parents are going to be able to go on our trip to Virginia in June and my mom can't go to the Bulgarian Adoptive Families Reunion either....we are all bummed about this, but trying to make the best of it. 

Upcoming

• We are done with school/work on May 31st!  Woo Hoo!!!!  Looking forward to some time off with Maria.
• Going to Virginia....hoping that one of my good friends will be able to come along and make it a mother/daughter week.
• Bulgarian Adoptive Families Reunion in Ohio....super excited to see everyone again and we will get to meet the daughter of Maria's surgeon from Switzerland...she is going to come to the USA this summer and help some friends out and learn more English.  
•  Eye surgery....ugh, Maria has a slight cross eye.  We decided this week to have it fixed...the date is set and we will have several appointments prior to the surgery.
• Hopefully there will be lots of swimming (minus the 2 weeks after surgery when Maria can't go swimming)
• Also planning on getting Maria out on her handcycle
• 1 year Gotcha Day and 1 year home....we are going to have some kind of celebration
• Maria wants to go to Chicago...she loves Chicago :)
• Also hoping to see the Adaptive Sports Iowa Ragbrai team when they come through the area
• SBAI's summer picnic

Seriously, June is booked!  It is nice to know we will be busy and that Maria will get to do so many fun things.

Can'ts and Too Hards

Listen to the Mustn'ts

Listen to the MUSTN'TS, child,

Listen to the DON'TS

Listen to the SHOULDN'TS

The IMPOSSIBLES, the WON'TS

Listen to the NEVER HAVES

Then listen close to me-

Anything can happen, child

ANYTHING can be

~ Shel Silverstein

I love this poem.  How many times have I as adult, used one of those words with a child?  How many times did I hear them as a child?  There are other words that should be included in the poem....the CAN'TS and IT'S TOO HARD are topping my list right now.  These are words I have been hearing too frequently recently.  Maria is saying she can't do things that she can.  She is saying things are too hard for her.  She is saying she is too slow (physically, not mentally).  

It all came to the breaking point last Friday.  We were going to go the the 4th and 5th grade fun night at her school.  She needed to do her bathrooming and change prior to leaving.  This does take her more time than others, but partly is because Maria has her own unique pace at doing things, it isn't that she can't do things, it's that she chooses to dilly dally while doing certain tasks.....especially things she really doesn't want to do like bathrooming.  I have decided this is something she has to want to improve on, not something I can or should force her to do.  When she realized that it was almost time to leave she wanted me to help her get her KAFO brace back on.  I was being a nice mom and helping.....well, that is until she said it was too hard to put on the brace.  The light clicked on and I told her I couldn't help her....she can do it herself.  Well, I'm sure you can guess how well that went over....needless to say she almost missed the fun night.  The only reason we went is because she rarely gets to do things with peers outside of school.  

Since then I have been trying to encourage independence....making her do the tasks that I know she can do and helping when there is truly a need.  Helping her by not helping is VERY hard at times.  It is VERY hard to hear her cry and frustrated with something I could quickly do for her.  I remind myself time and time again that I'm thinking about the big picture...her as an independent adult.  She is showing some manipulation....trying to make me feel guilty by giving me the sad/big bottom lip look or using tears to see if I will change my mind.  Tonight she even tried getting out of writing her spelling words....ended up taking twice as long as it would have if she had just done them.  Kicker was that she even admitted she was trying to get out of writing them.  And yes, she did write them all.

So, right now we are struggling some.  It isn't fun, but it is reality.  I feel that it is my job to help Maria understand that she can do ANYTHING she wants to with the right effort.  She is smart and very capable...now just trying to get her to buy into the ANYTHINGS instead of the can'ts and too hards.  Thankfully she has a very stubborn mom and I can see the humor in the situations that she is choosing to battle over...even commenting to friends I could start a preteen version of the "Reasons my son is crying" blog.  Yup, some of them have been that silly.  I take solace in knowing that this too will pass and with God all things are possible.  One day, hopefully, Maria will look back and be able to laugh about this with me.