A while back my fantastic homestudy social worker asked if I would write up something about Maria's adoption and reference her services for their annual report. I happen to have one of the best homestudy social workers and quickly agreed. This week, much to my surprise, in the mail was a copy of their annual report with Maria's story in it. A couple people have asked to read it, so I'm going to put it up on the blog.
A step of faith. That is what my decision to adopt Maria was. My dossier had been registered a year June 2011 with the country of Bulgaria for a healthy as possible toddler. Then Maria's picture and medical came in an email. Honestly, I had seen her before and always been drawn to her.....but I wanted to adopt a toddler that was healthy. I wasn't ready to consider adopting an older child with special needs. Seeing her picture this time was different.....I knew I could parent her, I could just see her in my life and home. I discussed the possibility with my family and much to my surprise they were open and positive to this possibility. After much thought and prayer, I knew this girl was suppose to be my daughter. I formally committed to adopting Maria in July 2011.
After updating my homestudy to reflect Maria's age and special needs, I was finally able to go to Bulgaria to meet her just before Christmas. Being in Bulgaria was a bit surreal in the moment. Traveling with a good friend and fellow adoptive mom helped keep me grounded during the trip and visits. I will always remember the moment during the first visit that Maria was told I wanted to be her mom. She had always asked the adults in her life, if there would ever be a family that wanted her. When she heard I wanted to be her mom, she had the biggest smile and look of wonder in her face. She had waited 11 years to have a mom, to be a part of a family. The visits with Maria were wonderful. She was a sweet and charming girl, who was interested in everything. She loved looking at pictures and wanted to know everyone's name. During my visits I was also able to learn more about her Spina Bifida, although it would take bringing her home and talking with specialist here to realize what a miracle she really is.
The 6 months following my first trip were some of the slowest I can remember....6 months of waiting for signatures, a court date and for the much anticipated travel dates. On June 25th 2012, I went to Maria's orphanage in Stara Zagora, Bulgaria and got my daughter. I wish I could tell you it was a happy experience....it was hard. I was taking Maria from the only home she had ever known, from the people she loved and who loved her, from her best friend. On too of all that, her best friend was being transferred to a different orphanage at the same time I was picking up Maria. It was HARD! Over our week in Bulgaria Maria quickly attached to me. She knew how to attach to adults, she knew what loving bonds looked like, the psychologist at her orphanage had worked with her about family roles so she knew what to expect. It was amazing to see her come out of her shell, become playful and show her true self.
Once we finally were home we started having communication through Skype, Facebook and email with staff and people who she knew from her time in the orphanage. It was one of the best decisions I made. It helped her to transition better to home, knowing I was supportive of her relationships and would allow her to continue having a connection to her old life. Because of continuing these relationships Maria rarely grieves leaving the orphanage. She is able to know that she is still loved and remembered by the people she still loves. There is rarely a day that goes by that we don't talk about someone from her orphanage. In fact we even visited one of her friends from the orphanage who has also bed adopted over the summer.
Maria has blossomed in other ways too. She was a child who had never really walked outside before or on slick surfaces. She walks all over the place now and managed the snow and ice well. Yes, there are times and places she needs her wheelchair, but she chooses to walk most of the time. She is so smart and continues to make gains in school while maintaining her first language. She is interested in sports (something that would never have been a possibility in Bulgaria). We are hoping go try wheelchair racing.
Throughout the whole process of Maria's adoption one of my biggest supports was my homestudy social worker Jan from YHFS. Jan didn't question my decision to adopt Maria. She trusted my decision and wanted to know about Maria. She was always excited about updates. The process and learning about who Maria was. She was good about talking about issues when they came up and was extremely supportive of Maria's continued relationship with her former caretakers. I'm not sure I would have made it through the adoption process without Jan's support.
Maria is such a joy. She is loved by so many people and has a light about her that draws people in. She is sensitive and caring, but also so strong.....she was born with Myelomeningocele Spina Bifida at the T12 level. She should be paralyzed from the belly button down, but she isn't. She shouldn't be able to walk, but she does and she can walk up and down stairs. She should have hydrocephalus and have a shunt, but she doesn't. She should have learning disabilities, but she doesn't. Yes, there are times when her disability is difficult....she has had 3 surgeries since coming home. But through it all she is a normal happy, loving and sometimes moody almost 13 year old. She is also excitedly waiting for her best friend from the orphanage to come to the US....yes, we helped find her best friend a family and he should be in Texas in the next 4-6 months.
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