Thanksgiving

Last year on November 22nd it was 2 days before Thanksgiving.  I was frustrated and very discouraged with the adoption process.  I had hoped and prayed that I would have been in Bulgaria to meet Maria by her birthday....but it didn't happen.  It seemed like every time I accomplished a step another requirement was being heaped onto me with the process.  Finally on the evening of the 22nd I got the call....I had travel dates for the week before Christmas.  I wasn't over the moon, like I though I would be.  I was just drained and had no way to know that this would be minor compared to the other hoops and frustration I would go through until I was able to get her home. 

Maria's first Thanksgiving!

Today I was so thankful that Maria was finally home to celebrate with us.  She is truly loved in our family.  It was a long and hard journey at times....there are things I wish would have happened differently, but in the end the most important thing is that Maria is home.  So, for those of you in the process....yes, it is hard, there are times you will want to give up, there will be times when you cry, you will feel emotions more intensely than you can imagine and one day you will realize why it is all worth it and it will be behind you.  You will not forget the harshness of the process, but you will realize that you have fought harder for this child than most will ever realize.  Happy Thanksgiving to all of you.

12th Birthday

Yesterday was Maria's 12th birthday!  She took treats into school on Monday to her friends.

I made the cake...ok I know it isn't perfect, but it did taste good and it was the requested pink.

She spent the day hanging out at my parents home....coloring, watching a movie and just resting.

Blowing out the candles!

She has been talking about wanting a "crown" for months....now she has two.

She loved being the center of attention.  She did spend the day in her wheelchair to let her leg rest and heal some.

Surgery

At the end of August I found out that Maria needed surgery on her leg....she had 2 pins in her leg right above the knee that were working their way out of the bone.  The big concern was that one was pointed towards the main artery in the leg....no one was sure how close it was to the artery.  After what seemed like forever we got the x-rays from Shriners (hint for anyone who isn't 100% sure about their child's initial doctor, leave with a copy of any x-rays in hand....places like Shriners won't release the x-rays to another doctor even with a parental consent). 

We finally got the surgery scheduled for this week.  I was really hoping for the week between Christmas and New Years, but the surgeon wasn't able to do that week.  So, it was either this week or wait until January....figured that we had a better chance of having decent weather this week.  So, it was planned for Tuesday.  We did the whole pre surgery appointment the Friday before. 

We got to the hospital and checked in by 9:30 as expected.  Maria wasn't overly thrilled about this whole process at all, not that I can blame her.  We were quickly taken to a pre surgery room.  Where I had to answer a ton of questions for the hundredth time, but everyone was nice.  We had a great nurse and the anesthesiologist was a hoot.  It also helped that the foundation's founder (Manuela) said that we could Skype with her at any time that day.  Manuela helped to give Maria a little extra comfort prior to surgery....she was also concerned about the surgery and wanted us to call her as soon as Maria was out of surgery.  It just shows how invested people were and still are in Maria.

Yeah, doesn't she looked thrilled

More of a smile

Hanging out with her pillow pet.  

Changed and ready for the operation room, well kind of.

She was so brave!

They were great and allowed me to go back into the OR with her while they put her under....yes, I got to wear all the crazy garb.  She did so well....they gave her a little laughing gas to calm her down then a second gas to knock her out....when the second gas was given she struggled a little and was saying no....a few tears escaped at that point (other than that there were no tears, which I was so surprised about).  At the point she was out, I was out of the OR and sent to the waiting room to wait with my mom. 

The surgery was just at an hour, everything went great.  The doctor came and talked with me.  He said that other than having to make the incision a little bigger than he wanted to (b/c of all the scar tissue) things went well.  He even said she was coming out of sleep and smiled at him when they were wheeling her out.  We were taken to the Recovery Room 1 and got to be with her.  She kept asking when we could leave....she wanted OUT of there!  Couldn't blame her at all for that one.  It took a while for us to get moved to Recovery Room 2 (yes there are 2 stages of recovery).  She was able to eat a little here and drink some juice.  No issues at all. We also did a Skype call with Manuela to let her know how things went.   We finally were released from Recovery room 2 and got her medication (it was suppose to be done at 2:30, yeah right).  We didn't get out of there till after 3pm.  LONG day!

Recovery room 2....she is being a good sport.

This is the "I want out of here now" face

Ok, so here is what I learned:
1.  Maria hates the auto blood pressure machine (but will laugh if you tell her it is just hugging her arm).
2.  Surgery will take ALL day and you will be tired and worn out even if you are the one waiting.
3.  Even doctors will show their stupidity...specifically male doctors.  Now before you judge me on this one, here is the story.  Maria has to wear pullups b/c of her Spina Bifida, she doesn't have bladder or bowel control which is typical.  We put a fresh pullup on her prior to surgery and the nurse noted it on her chart.  Yup, the male doctors took it off her and placed a size 4 diaper kinda under her....I'm pretty sure any mom out there can guess how well that didn't work.  I was rather ticked off about this one since my poor kid had to lay in a bed that had pee all over it.
4.  Hospitals are designed to keep you in once you are there.
5.  There is something wrong about a hospital charging you for parking when you are there for surgery.

Maria is doing great.  She was walking around today and did really well. 

Quick update

Someone asked about news on Zack.  To be honest I haven't heard anything recently.  Most orphanage directors are very busy and not able to really communicate with families.  I know that the family who is committed to Zack is moving forward and that the foundation checks on him when they can.  I also know that caretakers from Maria's orphanage continue to check on him too.  Another adoptive mom picked up her daughter from the same orphanage just yesterday and was going tone taking him a gift from his new family.  I had really planned on sending something too, but time to away fom me......which brings me to today.  Today Maria is having surgery....actually she is in surgery as I type this.  It is a minor surgery and she will be home today.  I will post more on it later.  Thanks for the continued thoughts for Zack and Maria.  I hope that soon I will also be able to introduce you to their other two friends J and S....we continue to work on getting them back on the waiting child registry so that we can find a family for them.

Seed Money for Maria

Ok, not my Maria....another Maria who is so very similar.  My friend Viviane is working hard to help this Maria out, read about it here.  This little girl is younger than my Maria by just a few years, but her situation sounds so hopeful.  She has spina bifida like my Maria.  Ok, I know the condition of spina bifida can be VERY scary when you first read about it.  I can tell you that there were things about my Maria's condition that scared me.  It was a HUGE step of faith...believing that it would work out, hoping and praying that I would have the skills and resources needed to manage the unknown.  Here is what I can tell you....parenting Maria has been a dream come true.  She has her moments and there are challenges, but she is such a happy kid.  She radiates joy (who knew I would choose such a fitting middle name for Maria Joy).  It is rare that a week goes by that someone isn't telling me what hope and happiness that Maria brings them.  That her strength and desire for independence reminds them of what they have to be thankful for.  What a blessing Maria is, I hope and pray that someone will want this other little Maria and be able to one day call her their daughter.  If you have questions about living with a child with spina bifida, please either leave a message or email me and I will answer your questions, maybe even do a Q and A post.

Now to go donate some seed money for Maria.

4 Months home

Friday marked Maria's 4th month home.  She was lucky that she didn't have school since her they had parent teacher conferences this week.  Those went well for the most part...not seeing eye to eye with the ELL teacher.  Thankfully Maria's other teachers are willing to step up and do what needs to be done.  So, Friday we had the big dental appointment.  Maria was not looking forward to this one at all.  What would have been a huge ordeal a few months ago with lots of crying....this time lots of whining and some eyes tearing up, but no tears shed.  We got to the dental appointment before 8am since we knew she was going to be sedated.  Things went well...4 baby teeth removed, teeth cleaned and fluoride put on her teeth.  She was awake during the procedure, but really felt no pain at all and did great!  I hope that the next time we go she will do well enough not to be sedated.  She was pretty groggy most of the day, but she was happy and did well.  I surprised her with a little stuffed black cat for her...she loved it and decided it was "black Pippin", just like our Pippin at home.

Later on during the day I had an even BIGGER surprise for her.  In September I filled out a grant from Athletes Helping Athletes for Maria.  AHA is a great organization out of San Diego, CA that is run completely by volunteers.  They let me know a while ago that Maria would be getting a hand cycle of her own.  We had to work out a few details, but the hand cycle would be sent just before Maria's birthday.  I learned just over a week ago that the company was shipping out the hand cycle early...it got to my parent's home on Tuesday this past week.  Maria got to see it and try it out on Friday.  She was still a little groggy and it was cold outside.  But thankfully Saturday was beautiful and she was able to do much better on it.  Other than that things get going along :)

Maria with the real "black Pippin"

Maria on her hand cycle on Saturday....yes, need to get her a helmet.

This is a recumbent one...the non-recumbent resemble a cross between a tricycle and a wheelchair.

She was so excited to get to ride around, but she will have to work up her muscles to go for longer periods of time.