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Saturday, December 31, 2011

Happy 2012!!!

Ok, so it's a little early.  Sorry, I'm not going to wait for the BIG ball to drop...I will be in bed early.  I did get to skype with some family friends in Germany....although my computer mic wasn't working for some odd reason.  Will try again soon.
Anyway, my New Year's wish is that many children are united with their forever families this year.  To all those with little ones home I hope to see you at the reunion this summer in Ohio.  To all those just starting the journey or waiting for a referral, hold strong it will happen.  Praying that M is having a wonderful 2012 so far...there will be many new and exciting things for both of us this year.

Saturday, December 24, 2011

Day 6

12/23 Friday
Today we packed everything up.  We were taken to the notary office and I finally got to meet Rosi.  Many other families have been with her on their trips and have spoken very highly of her.  I’m thrilled that I got to have Plamena, she is just wonderful and helped so much!  Anyway....got everything signed and went to wait for Stephan to come back and drive us to the airport.  Got to the Sofia airport with plenty of time to do a little shopping for souvenirs....ok I know that sounds bad, but we really didn’t have the time to do it any other day except Thursday and it was snowing like crazy (at least 3 inches).  Our flight to Munich was about 20 minutes late.  As we waited I sat and knitted next to an elderly lady.  She started talking to me in Bulgarian, but quickly switched to English when she figured out my Bulgarian is really, really bad.  She was going to Munich to meet her great granddaughter.  I ended up giving her my last BIG Hershey’s chocolate bar to enjoy with her family over the holiday.  Finally got to Munich and had to be bused to the terminal....they were having really bad fog and had a lot of planes on the ground.  We had about a 40 minute delay at the Munich airport too.  Went to the duty free store and got beer for Mike and chocolate to bring to the office.  Then off to Chicago....the flight was LONG!  It didn’t help that the people in front of us decided to lay back and there wasn’t much leg room.  Landed around 6:40pm....Went through customs and had to have the customs officer tell me an adoption story.  He was very nice and explained that next time will take a few extra minutes to get through Maria’s documents.  Collected luggage and off for home.

Day 5

12/22 Thursday
Well, today we were on our own.  We were able to sleep in.....I slept in till about 7 BG time....Dora Beth till about 9:30.  We eventually went out for something to eat.  We went to a restaurant that Stephan had suggested our first night.  The waiter spoke a little English and they had no menus in English....but we told the waiter to bring us chicken (grilled) and just trusted that it would be good.  I can say I think this is the best meal I have had in Bulgaria.  It was grilled chicken on some kind of rice mixed with veggies and a sauce.  The check for the meals were just over 12 Lev....really cheap!  We then went to the grocery store to get somethings to take back to the apartment.  When we were getting ready to leave we looked outside and it was snowing....lots of snow.  It is a very heavy wet snow which was making everything slick and slushy on the roads.  Another interesting BG thing (well at least is Sofia today) there were cars parked on the sidewalks....all the roads are very narrow and the cars parked on both sides of the street would have prevented any other cars from going down the street.  Anyway.....the grocery store worker was rather annoyed by us....no we didn’t do anything inappropriate.  He pointed at the amount we each owed and when I handed him a 20 Lev he said 10?....I said Ne 10 and he just shook his head.  With Dora Beth he ended up smacking his hand on his forehead because she gave him a larger bill also.  We came back to the apartment....didn’t bring the best shoes for walking through the snow (no they didn’t clean off the sidewalks while we were out, but it was also still snowing).  We started to watch a movie and I ended up going to take a nap and slept way too long!  I guess that the change in time, all the travel and stress finally caught up with me.  Think we might try getting something warm to bring back to the apartment to eat....the snow has finally stopped.  Tomorrow will bring a trip to the Notary’s office and then onto the airport to come home.  Can’t wait to see everyone at home!  It has been a wonderful trip, but I know that there is still much to do to prepare for M....more documents to get and a room to put together.





Day 4

12/21 Wednesday
Started out the day with all our packed donations in tow as we went to the orphanage.  Ok, we had so many that they fit in one of our big suitcases and we had an extra bag besides.
Hats that Dora Beth's friend made

Hats and gloves that Dora Beth bought

Hats and gloves I bought for the orphans

Socks that Dora Beth brought

Some underwear for the orphans and items for the caretakers gifts.

Getting ready to put together the caretakers gifts

Finished gifts for the caretakers

 I had a separate bag of gifts for the Director, Psychologist, Social Worker, PT, Doctor and nurses that work closely with Maria.  They logged our donation and we also gave them 250 Lev to buy needed items for the children.  Plamena and one of the orphanage drivers went to get the diapers the director requested.  Now, they were able to get 16 packs of diapers for 250 Lev....right now 1 US dollar is worth 1.50 Lev.  So, that is pretty cheap compared to what diapers cost in Iowa....and no I will not bring anyone home any diapers.  During this time Dora Beth and I were trying very hard to communicate with M.  We were able to let her see pictures of Horace Mann school thanks to some friends back home.  Plamena eventually joined us and so did the Director.  He came in and started talking to M about how he had told her this day would come and how happy he is for her.  He shook my hand and thanked me for wanting to adopt M...He started to tear up and even cried while he was saying how this is a dream come true for many of them.  Plamena was crying, I was crying....M was sitting there watching us crazy adults get all emotional.  I let the director know that I want M to have pictures of him and the staff because they have been such an important part of her life and have loved and cared for her so much and that I want to be able to send pictures to them of her, so that they can continue to see her grow and become the amazing girl I know she will be.  He gave M a hug and ended up leaving.  We continued to talk about the school and answer M’s questions....the social worker was also very interested to know what her school would be like.  So, I know I will need to get some pictures of her at school once she is home to send to them.  We attempted to paint her nails, but she still had polish on them from her birthday and didn’t seem to want to change it, which was fine.  We also learned how much she is loved....not only did they have a special birthday party for her, they also allowed Maria and her friend to pick out gifts they wanted for Christmas....I haven’t heard of this happening with many other children.  M did ask when I would be back for her.  I told her that I hoped that it would be sometime in April or May.  She seemed fine with this.  I also learned that she LOVES ice cream and was thrilled when she heard her new Baba (grandma) makes homemade ice cream.  She asked what time of year Baba makes ice cream and I had to tell her when ever she wants.  This got a HUGE smile....guess there will be plenty of M and Baba ice cream making dates :) We left the orphanage and went back to the hotel to finish packing our bags and check out.
The hotel was wonderful and allowed us to store our bags there until we left this evening.   We ended up walking towards the post office....Dora Beth had several postcards she wanted to send out.  We were walking through a central park and I decided to stay there and take some pictures.  There were many interesting things to see, many monuments (I think most were about Russia and communism, but still a part of M’s culture).  Not to make anyone jealous, but it has been nice enough in Stara Zagora that we really haven’t needed our coats much this week.  In fact there were flowers in bloom in the park!













Then off to eat lunch.  At the end of lunch I looked down the street and saw some men in traditional Bulgarian costumes doing some dances.  Plamena told us to go and get some pictures while she asked for the check.  We went down and got some pictures and video of the men...it was very neat to see.  One man played something similar to a bag pipe...but without all the extra pipes and one of the dancers had a long sword...a couple other were collecting money.





After that we went and saw the Orthodox Church (more like Russian Orthodox than Greek).  We were not allowed to take pictures of the inside, but got several of the building’s outside.  After this we went back to the hotel to prepare for the final visit.  While at the hotel Plamena shared with me more about the Director.  She said that she had heard that he was very strict and not easy to work with, but that she was surprised when she came back from getting the diapers because he started talking to her about M and how it was a miracle when she started walking at 5 years old and Plamena said it just hit him that M was really going to be adopted, that I was really going through with it.  Plamena confirmed I was serious about adopting M and the Director told her that they must go and thank me now.....this would have been when the Director came into our visit in the morning.  Plamena also apologized for crying and said that the Director crying had really moved her.  I agreed it was a very emotional and important moment for all of us.  Thinking about this interaction with the Director, still makes me tear up...it was very important moment for all of us.
We then went to the orphanage for our last visit.  I was allowed to speak with M’s teacher.  I found out that she is working on multiplication and division for 2 hours a week, but she is doing the same amount of work that the students in traditional school are doing in 4 hours a week.  The teacher said that M is perfect in all her areas of study.  She is even willing to work with M more on her English and wanted to know what I would like her to know.  The agency was willing to pay for extra English lessons, but the teacher said she would do it without pay.  I was very happy to hear this.  I also have asked that they write a little summary of what skills she has worked on and where she is on those skills.  The teacher really doesn’t want her to leave before their school is over for the year at the end of May, but I’m bringing her home as soon as I can!  I know I have enough resources to make sure that she will do just fine in school next year.  The teacher was also interested in knowing about the school system in Iowa and what kind of school M would be in.  She was happy to hear that Maria will be able to go to a regular school and be with her peers.  We then went and spent more time with M.  I gave her my last gift....the cat I had made at Build A Bear.  She just hugged that cat and rocked it the entire time.  I gave her a last hug and kiss goodbye and told her that I would be back hopefully in April or May to bring her home.  We watched her go up the stairs, yes I held it together no tears....I know she is with people who love her and will take special care of her until I come back.  I also have the orphanage’s address and the director’s email so I can send her pictures between the trips and little messages too. We went back to the hotel to collect our bags and then off to the bus station.  We took the bus back to Sofia where Stephan picked us up and brought us back to the apartment we were in the first night.  Tomorrow should find out more about when I will need to go to the notary and we will most likely have some time to explore Sofia on our own.  I will say that everyone here has been so great about trying to speak English around us, even if it is only a phrase or two.  They have never been upset or rude that we haven’t known enough of the language.  The cities are a wonderful mixture of old history, Communism and modern times.




Day 3

12/20 Tuesday
I will say that being 8 hours ahead of everyone is difficult....especially when I need to sleep and just can’t.  So, now it is around 1pm here and it is almost 5am back home and I so need a nap!  We went to the orphanage again this morning.  I was able to talk with the psychologist (who is wonderful and has obviously done a lot of work with M).  We talked about M’s birth family and why she was given up.  It was honestly not a big surprised, but still very sad.  I also got to speak with her doctor and her physical therapist.  I learned a lot more about her physical needs and condition.  I can honestly say, that I am a little disappointed in some of the things I learned....but at the same time I know we have great doctors and professionals in the US that will do everything possible to ensure she is at her potential.  It will just take getting her home and getting her into see the right people.  The doctor was very happy that I was adopting M....she couldn’t stop smiling at me and commented on how much we (M and I) look a like.  The PT was also wonderful and agreed to make figures of the exercises that they do with M daily so that I can have one of our PT’s take a look at it.  We spent from about 9:30-11:30 with M.  Her friend also came in for part of that time.  He is so sweet and was very insistent on listening to music (or musica as he says it).  They got to have some chocolate that I brought and were very happy about that.  We also spent time working on a bracelet and looking at pictures on my laptop.  M continues to be very interested in everything.  They have said that she is listening closely to everything I am telling her and has many questions, but just isn’t asking them yet.  She is very good at recognizing people from the photo album that I sent her.  She did see a few pictures I had taken at the office (one of my co-worker Michelle with another co-workers' son Eli and a more recent one of Amy (another co-worker) and her mittens).  She continues to use more of her English with us....a few words here and there.  This morning she said “goodbye” instead of ciao.  We came back to the hotel and went to a restaurant near by for lunch.  Now, some time for a quick nap.  By the way, we are consistently hearing music from the US over here....it is all in dance mix though, still nice to hear something that is a little familiar.  Will type more later.
 We visited again this afternoon from about 3:30 to 5:30 tonight.  We were greeted again by the psychologist and social worker.  Both are warming up to us very nicely.  Our translator is trying to help us make plans to meet M’s teacher tomorrow and talk about arranging additional English lessons during the waiting period between trips.  We got to the room and M joined us very quickly.  She had mentioned that she likes dresses, but didn’t have any (so, glad I had that last impulse buy at the beginning of the month and got her a dress and a skirt).  She loves clothes and hair items.  Our translator had even bought her the kind of chocolate bar that she said was her favorite.  My friend also (unknown to me) had bought M and I matching bracelets and gave them to us tonight.  We played around on the computer (wish we would have had Internet to show her more things in Iowa).  We also did a lot of talking.  She knows that there are many people back in the USA who are very excited about meeting her and getting to know her.  She also knows that she will be going to a regular school with other kids her age (super excited about this one).  She did have several questions about school....she really hasn’t asked many questions, so it was wonderful that she did ask some.  She is also very interested in other children that she will get to know and meet.  I also talked with her about her name and if she wanted to keep M as her first name or as a middle name.  She wanted to keep it as her first name.  Tonight I finally asked her if it was ok to give her a hug.....I got the best hug ever....she didn’t want to let go.  It was great and I almost cried.  I told her I would see her tomorrow.  Tomorrow is our last day here.  I thought that we would be staying till Thursday, but on Thursday I have to go to the notary in Sofia to have some documents signed.  But we will be able to see her twice tomorrow and will be taking all our donations to the orphanage also.  So, tonight will most likely be a quick dinner and packing up our items to prepare to leave Stara Zagora.  M knows that when I leave there will be several weeks/months before I can come back to pick her up.  The orphanage has said that I will be able to email her and send her pictures during that time.  They truly want what is best for her and are so excited for her.  I know tomorrow will be hard for both of us, but I also know there is much still that I must do so that she can finally come home. 
Christmas lights in Stara Zagora

These were really cool lights...but it was hard to capture

Day 2

12/19/ Monday:
Hello everyone!  Well, we got up this morning around 8 and left for Stara Zagora around 8:45.  We picked up Plamena (translator) on the way out of Sofia.  We did have some snow as we drove to Stara Zagora....the mountains are beautiful!


We arrived in Stara Zagora around 11:30 and went straight to the orphanage.  I was very excited that they did let Dora Beth come with me...didn’t think they were going to allow her in the orphanage at all.  We met with the orphanage director, psychologist and social worker.  The orphanage is actually for children birth to 7 years, but they kept saying how M is special so they kept her longer.  We were also told there were around 180 children in this orphanage.  They did inform me that M has a very good friend who is just a year younger who we will be meeting.  They said that M and this boy have been friends for a very long time and it will be very difficult for him when M leaves.  They hope that by him meeting me that it will help ease his mind.  We finally got to meet M and spent about an hour with her in the early after noon.  They had told her that someone was coming to visit her, but they hadn’t told her who or what was happening.  So, she was a little confused by why there were so many people around.  She also had to ask what language we were speaking.  Although she has had some English, it hasn’t been as much as I had hoped.  During the first visit the psychologist (who M is very close to) told her that I would be adopting her.  She had a HUGE smile on her face when she was told she was being adopted.  We ended up leaving so that she could go back to school, but were told we could come back around 3:30 to visit her again.  We went to the hotel got settled and then ate some lunch.  We went back to the orphanage at 3:30...she was very happy to see us and our translator is doing a wonderful job at helping us communicate with each other.  I had brought her a few things during this visit and she was quick to show excitement.  She loves girly things....so hair items were a big hit.  She also likes my I-touch (no surprise there).  I tried to tell her about Iowa and things that I normally do.  She has never done so many things....never been to a zoo or field trip.  The psychologist said that she didn’t even realize that cherries come from a tree until she saw one and they explained what it was to her.  So many things to get to introduce to her!  She did ask if we took a plane or a boat to get here....I had to laugh at that, but said that a boat would take a lot longer.  She is very shy, but is doing more talking.  We will visit again tomorrow morning (we are working around her school schedule).  The one disappointment I had was that I was told that I’m not allowed to take any pictures while I’m at the orphanage.  I’m hoping by the end of the week they will either let me take a couple or maybe take one for me.  Now we are back at the hotel for the night....most likely will try to grab something to eat at some point.

Trip 1 to Bulgaria

I wrote updates on a google doc while I was in Bulgaria to share with close friends and co-workers while I was on my trip.  I am posting my updates and some pictures for you all to enjoy.

12/17-12/18 (Saturday and Sunday)
 Alright everyone, the trip has begun.  I left home on Saturday around 8 am and picked up my very good friend and traveling buddy, Dora Beth on the way.  We left O’Hare around 6pm on Saturday and got into Munich at 9:30am.  It was a very long flight and I hate to say I didn’t sleep well...didn’t even try.  We left Munich today around 1:30....we were delayed a bit due to snow.  The snow actually started to come down quite heavy as we were boarding.



The trip to Sofia (capitol city) was good, even with the delay and we both got a little sleeping in on that flight.  We got through all the customs and everything and were met by an agency staff member, Stephen....he will be our driver while we are here.  He is super nice and very interested in our politics and improving his English (which is 100 times better than my Bulgarian).  We are staying tonight in an apartment in Sofia and will leave tomorrow to go to Stara Zagora (which he claims is 2 ½ hours away....said he would be going 130km....sounds fast to me).  We also have had our first lost in translation moment...I guess we are the loud Americans.  The lady downstairs came up to let us know mostly through body language that we needed to be more quiet because they were trying to sleep downstairs.  Thank goodness for nonverbal communication!  We are going off to get some dinner.  Post more later with some pictures of this apartment...it is very nice.
bedroom at the apartment

2nd bedroom

bathroom...very purple!

Living room

Kitchen and dinning area....my friend Dora Beth

Thursday, December 15, 2011

Ever have that feeling that things are just coming full circle?  I feel that way tonight.  Travel date is almost here and things are falling into place.  Tonight I got a call from a very good friend, Andrea, in fact she is the one who I called this summer when I was in the process of deciding about M.  The other friend who helped me back in June (feels like so long ago) is my traveling buddy, Dora Beth.  It was wonderful to talk with her.  She was very touched by a special package her kids got from their Iowa grandma (my mom).  She lost her mom over 5 years ago....she misses her so much and misses the grandma her kids don't have.  She shared this with me and I told my mom that I knew some kids who needed an adopted grandma.  Mom quickly came up with ideas for the 4 kids and got the package together and off to them.  Our conversation ended with a heart felt prayer for the trip, Dora Beth, M and myself.  After getting off the phone I realized what amazing friends I have...in many ways they are the sisters I never had.  I know that they will be wonderful aunties to M when she finally comes home. 

For those of you who are just starting your adoption journey or just reading for fun....I can honestly say that in many ways the friends I have met through this adoption journey in many ways feel like family too.  We have shared some of the same joys and heartbreaks.  We have waited and waited and waited.  We have emailed and shared frustrations and understood each others feelings, concerns and celebrated as progress was made.  I finally got to meet many of these friends over the summer at the Bulgarian Adoptee's Reunion.  I can't wait to go again this summer with M.  I hope and pray that she will enjoy it as much as I did.  By the way I have been celebrating that one of my first adoption friends, Rose, is finally united with her long waited for daughter.  Congrats to the new family, I can't wait for D and M to meet!
 
Things are finally going to happen.  I can honestly say I'm excited, nervous, and anxious all at the same time.  I'm about to turn M and my worlds upside down.  I know that it will be hard at times.  I know I will make mistakes.  I might even miss my days of being single .  But I also know this is what is suppose to happen.  I can't wait till I finally get to meet my girl...it has been a long hard process, but worth every tear shed, every doc that needed to be notarized and apostilized, and worth every day I have waited.  I hope and pray this feeling of peace stays with me throughout the trip!

Monday, December 5, 2011

Over the weekend

The count down is on....actually I am refusing to count down (it makes all my nerves and anxiety increase right now).  But that hasn't stopped everyone else from counting down for me, even though I've asked them not to tell me the number of days left.  All I can say is it is coming quickly and everyday I am more and more grateful that Dora Beth is going to be there with me!
So, with limited time left I have had a lot to do.  On Saturday I went to the Iowa City area to do some final shopping.  I started at the outlet mall, finished up my Christmas shopping (usually this is done prior to Thanksgiving, b/c I hate shopping after Thanksgiving....all I can say is people are nuts this time of year).  Got some really good deals which made me happy.  I even got a couple more outfits for my girl.  Then I went to the mall....did I mention I hate shopping this time of year?  I finished up the gift for the orphanage director (I was told that the director is a man).  I got to meet up with a great special education teacher I have worked with the past few years, who is now working in a different district.  She is truly an amazing teacher who is extremely accepting of all her students and never complains.....I never heard her complain once in two years even when kids were being naughty.  After lunch we went our separate ways.  I went and had a Build A Bear made for my girl with a voice recording of me saying "Mommy loves you".  Then off to Target to get a few things for the trip and donations for the orphanage.  Dora Beth has already bought 100 pairs of socks and between the two of us we probably have 100 pairs of gloves/mittens and hats too.  I think one of the best parts of shopping was in the check out line.  There was a little girl of 4 or 5 being held by her mom....she looked at all my mittens and told her mom "she has a lot of mittens"....perfect teaching opportunity!  I told the child that I was going to an orphanage in Europe and that the children in the orphanage didn't have hats and mittens and couldn't play outside with them.  So I thought it would be nice for them to have what they needed so they could play in the snow.  She agreed and as she and her mom moved up in their line I heard her ask her mom what an orphanage was. 
After all the shopping was done, I went to meet the Bulgarian couple I met a while ago.  It was great to see them and talk with them again.  They gave me so much helpful information about the country and even gave me a family member's phone number in case I needed anything while in Sofia.  They are quickly becoming such a blessing!  The sad part of the night was learning that Annie's mother had unexpectedly passed away and she had made a very quick trip back to Bulgaria to attend her mother's funeral.  I hope that she is able to get through next week and all her final papers and projects....and then to get some well earned relaxation!
Yesterday after church, I spent the day finishing up my girl's photo album.  I also cut out a few things on my Cricut for present tags and to put on the gifts for the orphanage caretakers and director.  I was then surprised in the evening with a call from a young woman I met this summer at the Bulgarian Adoptee's reunion.  She was adopted at an older age and has so much wisdom and a strong desire to give this wisdom to adoptive parents to help the new adoptees.  We must have talked for almost 2 hours and she confirmed many things that I have been told and have planned on doing with my girl when she comes home.
As for the done list:
gifts for caretakers
Christmas present wrapped
clothes for M washed
donations bought
photo album done
tickets bought

To do:
Finish arranging for pet care while I'm gone
clean the house
pack!!!!
work on my limited Bulgarian
get the quilt my mom is making for M
finish up things at work before leaving
get my oil changed
I'm sure there is more and I'm just forgetting it right now.....I know the time is going to go by very quickly and before I know it I will be on a plane about to change my life and M's life forever.