Knitting

I haven't done a picture thread of my knitting lately.....so, here it goes :)

A sweater for my co-worker's daughter

Up close detail of a scarf

Scarf for my co-worker

Sweater for Conner

Sweater for Elina

 Still have several project to get done before the holidays :)

Adoption update

July 30th
Ok, so I know I am not going to post this one for a while, but needed to get it written down.....
So, here I go...over the past 6 months God has really been opening my heart to special needs kids.  I'm not sure specifically why, but He has been placing these kids on my heart more and more.  I am able to see waiting children through my agency to consider.  I have asked about a few, but it came to nothing until the middle of June.  A little gal came across my email....in fact I had seen her 2 times before.  The agency in Bulgaria has been trying to find her a home for almost 2 years.  The times I had seen her before, I wasn't ready, but I was drawn to her...I could tell she was special.  At first she was too old, how could I handle that sn, that sn would change my life, etc.  These were the thoughts that went through my head the other times I saw her.  This time, nothing...well that isn't exactly true...my thoughts was I can do this, my house has to be as good, if not better than where she currently is (honestly this was a concern before).  I could see myself parenting this child....sure she is older than what I thought I would adopt (10 years old, will be 11 when she comes home).  She has a sn, but that doesn't mean that we can't live a happy fulfilled life together.

From mid June to the beginning of July was hard.  This is the time I like to call "God messing with my life" :)  I was interested in this child and it was time to talk with my family.  So, I started talking with my parents, who I expected to tell me I was crazy.  My mom's response was "10 year olds are great!" and "It won't hurt to talk with Kay (my adoption coordinator)"....my dad's response was to go for it.  At this point I felt like I would be all in if I could adopt a toddler at the same time.  So, I emailed Kay and asked LOTS of questions about her needs and the possibility of adopting 2 kids at once.  I waited for a reply and then gave her a call.  We talked about the situation and she said she would get me the information and see about my adopting two at once.  The next day I had my answers and the chance of getting a toddler with mild sn as a referral was not going to happen if I requested this little gal.  My choice was to either pass on this little girl, choose another sn child or adopt this little gal and resubmit my dossier for a healthy toddler later on.  I was heartbroken.  I have dreamed of a toddler for years and it felt like I was having to give up on that dream or this new one.  I wanted to have my cake and eat it too.

So, I talked with my mom and she told me what I needed her to say...."if you really want a toddler then wait for a toddler".  I wasn't happy with this answer, it didn't feel right.  I felt like I needed to talk with a friend who would give an outside perspective.   I debated between calling two different friends and decided to talk with my friend Andrea (who was in Hawaii at the time).  We talked, I told her what was going on and being the amazing friend that she is, she prayed with me over the phone and ended the conversation with her wisdom "I think you already know what you are suppose to do."  I must say at times it is hard having friends who know me so well :)  I was still feeling very torn about the situation.  I went to bed that night thinking about this little gal, I woke up thinking about this little gal.....I could see her just fitting into my home and with me.  This went on all day long....then the other friend who I had thought of calling the day before called.  Dora Beth wanted to set up a day together while I was on summer break.  Well, needless to say I ended up telling her what was going on.  Dora Beth completely got how I was feeling....she understood in only a way another adoptive parent would understand.  Dora Beth prayed with me over the phone and told me that I can still have both dreams.  At this point I knew that this new dream and this little gal were suppose to be a part of my life.  The weekend of the 4th of  July I told my parents.  My dad's response was "I already knew you were going to adopt her."  My mom was very excited too, in fact she said she could just see this little gal fitting into their home too.  Oh, and my mom's grandmother gene has kicked into over drive :)  She said there is no way any grandchild of her's is going to get patted down by airport security....which means most likely we will be flying in and out of O'Hare (maybe not depending on the new regulations for children under 12).  Ok, by me it's my favorite airport (I know, I'm nuts).  On July 5th (before leaving for the U2 concert) I called my adoption coordinator and told her that I wanted to adopt this little gal.

At the moment I committed to adopting her, a sense of peace has just washed over me.  I have been in touch with a developmental pediatrician who specializes in her sn....I got positive response about her medical from him.  I just wish he was in the same state so that he could be her doctor.  But he will help me find a specialist here.  My mom and I also spent time talking with my nephew and niece about my adopting a child who is older than they are and who may have a special need.  Both kids were very open to both ideas and then out of nowhere my niece says "Auntie Kat you should adopt a little girl in a wheelchair".  This child will have to use a wheelchair at times.  Needless to say I wasn't expecting her response and have been humbled by how God has been involved in this.  I know there will be lots of challenges and I would be lying if I said I didn't have any fears about this.  I Know I will have a lot to learn, but I am so excited about the possibilities of having this little gal in my life and getting to be her mom.
September 21
Last week while emailing with another PAP, I found out that this little gal has officially been placed on hold for me.  Now I just have to get through all the paperwork issues that I am having right now.

Ups and downs

This last week was a week full of ups and downs.  It all started on Tuesday with a major down.  I submitted my FBI fingerprints in July and still gotten the results.  I really need to results so that I can have my homestudy updated.  So, I finally called Tuesday morning before my meeting to see where in the process they were, only to discover that they were never processed!  I was shocked and upset to say the least.  I got through my meeting for mentoring and was telling a co-worker what was going on.  Another co-worker was also listening to the conversation and told me that my agency has fingerprint cards in the office I was in.  We went down got a fingerprint card and my co-worker (who was in charge of the meeting) sent me off to get my fingerprints taken.  I got them done and all the papers filled out and FedEx the next morning.  I will be calling in the next few weeks to BEG that they expedite them for me.  I also am going to call my USCIS Hague officer to see if I can get my biometrics done prior to submitting my renewal form.

On Thursday I got some good news from another PAP, but that is another post (thank you Viviane!).  I also was able to find, after a year of searching, a Bulgarian family that lives about 2 hours away from me.  We emailed yesterday morning and early afternoon and decided to meet last night.  I had a great time meeting them.  They actually live in Macomb IL, but the wife is currently a grad student at the University of Iowa.  They have offered to help me in anyway  that they can.  I'm so excited that I got to meet them and I learned so much from them.  So, here is somethings I learned.  In Bulgaria, a child's middle name is their father's first name.  For a male child they place a V on the end off the name (I'm guessing this signifies that this is the child of _____) and then for girls they get VA on the end of the name.  I also learned several things about the language....I was sharing with them the words I had learn through the Bulgarian phrase for Children CD....I'm going to apologize for this now, but the one word I quickly learned was "peshka" which in the verb tense means to go pee, what I didn't know in the non-verb tense it means dick (now you know why I apologized)....I had figured that would be my safe word to let people in country know I needed to go to the bathroom....Can't you just see a silly American running around saying "peshka" in the wrong way...who knows what would have happened.  Glad I learned about that one now!  I also learned about the site malincho.com I is a site that you can order Bulgarian food items online and sent to your home.  There look like some yummy things to try.  They also have a travel site for flights to Bulgaria.

Also this week I was IMing with an adult adoptee that I met at the reunion this summer.  She shared with me the transparent language website....you can get to it through byki.com  There is a free download for Bulgarian language and 2 different for sale programs.  I have downloaded the free version, but am still trying to figure out how to download the different lists onto my computer.  I think that it will be a great place to start with learning Bulgarian and with the help of the Bulgarian couple I met, I'm good to go :)  Also, for those of you with I-pads, I-touch or I-phones....I have also found a Bulgarian language app that is fairly good.  The couple I met, said that the recorded voices sounded like native Bulgarian speakers.  So, here are some pics of the app :)

 The app is the second to the last row 3rd app from the left

This is the first screen of the app....you can see there are several different word areas

This is one of the categories..you practice the words then have 3 different levels of games to help make sure you remember them.

Example of one of the word lists.

Remembering

I can hardly believe that it has been almost ten years since 9/11.  Like many people I can remember that day very clearly.  On 9/11/2001 I was in my second year of graduate school at St. Louis University.  That was a busy morning for me.  I needed to run out to Camp Wyman in Eureka MO to get some data for my practicum.  I woke early and rushed out the door without turning on a radio or tv.  I was on my way to the camp and switched on the radio.  That is when I heard about the first plane.  I can remember being confused and wondering if this was some sick joke.  Then the second plane hit.  I knew that the world I knew was changing.  Quickly I called my parents home and got my dad.  I let him know where I was going and that I was safe.  My dad was concerned because I was living in midtown St. Louis....heck I could see the arch every day I walked the block and half to class.  When I got to the camp I was able to watch the news footage on a small fuzzy black and white tv.  By that time the Pentagon had been hit and then soon after flight 93 had crashed.  Later I ended up at home, like many, engrossed by the horror that was happening to our country.

Later that night I talked with my aunt and discovered that my cousin Daniel who was in law school in NYC was safe.  We were also blessed that our family friends from Germany decided to start out their vacation at my parent's home in Iowa.  They had originally planned on starting out in New York, they would have been there on 9/11.  My mom still talks about the panicked phone calls from German relatives checking on our friends. 

Another thing that I remember from that time being in the city.  If you haven't been to St. Louis, it isn't a quiet city.  I remember this eerie quiet that seemed to engulf the city.  People seemed to be staying at home and remembering the simple things in life.  I remember the concern over an Iranian classmate in my program and ensuring that she was feeling safe.  I remember students the aviation school at SLU being interviewed by the FBI. 

Such an emotion filled time, so much loss, but at the same time it brought unity.  At times I wonder if it is similar to how people felt after Pearl Harbor was attacked.  December 7th is another important day to me....you see my grandfather and great uncle were serving on the USS Schley in dry dock number 2 on that morning.  Both were safe on that day and made it through WWII safely.  So many heroes on both days.....Thank you to all the service men and women who defend our country.  Thank you to all the first responders, fire fighters and police for putting your lives in the line of duty everyday.  I will always remember