Second archery competition

Last night Maria had her second archery competition.  She was excited to use her new bow (of course it is pink).  I wasn't sure how she would do.  The first competition she only scored 66 points out of 300.  She was disappointed since she is quite the perfectionist, but I was quick to remind her that this was her first year and she hadn't been able to go to all the practices because of basketball and my work schedule.  I ended up talking with one of the coaches and we figured out a way for her to attend more practices now.  

First let me tell ou archery competitions are kinda long and not the best for active 3 yr olds.  As a result Ella and I spent most of the time in the hallway where she could run around, be loud and hopefully not get in the way of any flying arrows.  Ella did really well waiting in the hallway.  She made friends with a little 11 month old girl (who was slightly smaller than Ella is).  Ella also was able to get a little iPad time.....I normally don't allow her technology time, but she was getting bored and needed something to do.  She isn't quite ready for unsupervised technology time yet, but she did like Elmo's Monster Maker app.  

Finally it was time for Maria to shoot.  At first she didn't seem to be doing very well.  She made a few adjustments and improved.  In the end Maria ended up with a score of 134.  More than double what she shot in her first competition.  Ella was quick to tell Maria bravo.  

For those who don't know we had a Paralympic archer within our area of the state during the last summer Paralympics.  This with the area being full of hunters (we have an extremely healthy deer population), archery has become quite popular among the kids.  Although I highly doubt Maria will ever go out hunting.

Ella update

Throughout the month of October I became more and more worried about Ella's childcare arrangements.  The adults who were suppose to be taking care of her seemed to be sabotaging things frequently.  At the end of October I finally hit the brick wall and found a new place for Ella to receive childcare while I work.  Best decision ever!  Ella is finally being treated like a 3 yr old not a baby.  She is playing and getting dirty.  She is having the structure she needs and being taught pre-academic items too.  I couldn't be happier with where she currently is at!  Not only have those things changed, but Ella has reduced several behaviors she picked up and was getting in trouble for at home.  She is a stubborn child, but the testing has dramatically reduced since she has a similar structure across settings.

Ella has finally decided that grandma is a lot of fun and ok to spend the day with.  It took her some time to realize that it is ok to like more than just mom and Maria.  She loves her big sister and looks up to her all the time.  Maria handles things well and enjoys Ella too (as long as she isn't crying).  We really saw this when we went to see Santa.....Ella was great until the big guy started coming towards her and then, wham full on ugly crying face ready to release the banshee scream (yes, it is that loud).  Maria stepped up to the plate and held Ella while the picture was taken.  As long as Ella was in Maria's arms she was fine.  

Ella is also our protector of the Christmas tree.  She is bound and determined that the cats should not be under the tree.  When they go under it, she will stomp over to them and give them a firm talking to, while trying to shoo them out from under the tree.  Needless to say this is very entertaining to everyone except the cats.  

I'm sure there is much more, but I'm tired and will try to do a better job of keeping things updated.

Maria update

Life has been too busy lately!  I have obviously not kept up with blogging like I should have.

The end of October brought Maria's IEP meeting.  The meeting went well overall with the exception of one teacher who means well, but doesn't quite understand how Maria and most other kids learn.  Her method is the kids read or watch a video and take notes.....for someone who is an English Language Learner this isn't usually the best approach.  We are still working through the issue and it seems like it is starting to get better.  Everything else with school has been great.  Maria is getting all A's with really little to no help at all in her classes.  According to the PE teacher (who comes and stays through the whole meeting, this is unheard of) she works harder in PE than most students.  Even the basketball coach and Athletic Director were at her meeting.  

Maria did basketball again this year.  It was a much different experience than last year.  Maria actually participated in practices with her peers.  She had no associate assigned to her or was placed out in a hallway to work on skills by herself.  She was given a game day jersey to wear and even warmed up with the team on game days.  She was included in the team photo....not stuck off to the side, but actually front and center holding the ball with her teammates and friends around her.  Her coaches actually allowed her to take part in a scrimmage in her wheelchair too.  I cannot tell you the number of times during the season that Maria asked me why things were so different this year, why her old school wouldn't do these same things for her.  Those were hard questions, but also reaffirmed that Maria is in a school district that is going to give her more opportunities.  

At the end of October Maria and her friend Suz also decided (with some pushing from their parents) to race in their first 5k.  Both girls had fun, it was a good learning experience.  Maria learned that she needs to work on her endurance and stamina.  So we have been trying to get her to do that when she is working out in PE and at the local YMCA.  The girls are talking about a half marathon in June.....we will see if they are ready for that one.

November brought Maria's birthday.  She is officially 15!   Hard to believe she is so grown up already!  We have been talking about her trying to get her drivers permit.  She is nervous about driving and getting into an accident, but we have agreed that she needs to take drivers ed prior to finishing high school.  She has been taking practice tests on her kindle and learning rules while I drive and talk her through what I'm doing.  When I think about how little experience she has had in cars compared to her peers, it does make sense why she is uncertain about the thought of driving.

Last Saturday brought Maria's first archery competition.  Yes, she is really getting involved this year!  She wasn't able to attend many practices due to my work schedule, but has worked hard when she could to improve.  The first competition she didn't do great at.....she wasn't the worse, she will improve I have no doubt.  She got done shooting and we waited for the results.  As we were waiting we saw a boy who also has a physical disability waiting around for his turn to shoot.  I suggested that Maria go talk to him.  She did and had a wonderful time connecting with someone else who understands.  She was thrilled she wasn't the only one who had a physical disability at the competition!  Hopefully we will see him and his family again.

Middle school dances.....the dread of every parent.  Maria has gone to two this year.  She has had a blast to be honest.  It has been nice just dropping her off and letting her be a normal kid.  We do use glow sticks on her wheelchair for fun on dance nights (plus it helps other drivers picking up their kids to see her).

Adaptive climbing

On the 4 Friday of each month Climb Iowwa hosts an adaptive climb for individuals with physical disabilities.  After the first time we went, Maria was hooked....seriously she still hasn't stopped talking about climbing.  She and a friend get to meet up there and take turns going up using some special equipment.  I get to steer Ella out of everyone's way and talk with friends who understand what it is like to parent a child with special needs.  They have actually been great at providing a lot of important insight on CP (which Ella has).  It is great that both girls love them and our older girls just click.  Well, this month wasn't any different....the girls had a blast.  

While they were taking turns going up a couple came over and started talking to us.  They started a group called Train to Inspire and were very excited to see the girls climbing.  They were excited to hear about the kids and volunteered to invite them to the monthly events they hold.  The group isn't very old and is still figuring out their role.  Part of the issue we run into is that most people do not know the difference between Special Olympics and Paralympics/Adaptive sports.  Special Olympics were really developed and allowed to use the Olympic name for those individuals who have a intellectual disability. If an athlete also has a physical disability they will also accept them.  Paralympics/Adaptive sports are geared more towards those who only have a physical disability (spinal cord injury, blind, limb differences are a few).  The qualifications for this group are much more strict and there are a lot of guidelines to how individuals are classified.  Most assume Maria would be in Special Olympics, but she doesn't meet the qualifications.  Which is why we spend a lot of time educating people about adaptive sports and Paralympics.  Well, this couple was no exception.  It did sound like they want to meet athletes where they are and help them move forward.  The man was extremely interested that Maria was starting to do some weight training at the local Y to help her with track.  I have a feeling he would be willing to help her with more specific weight training if I ask.  We ended up saying goodbye to the. And enjoyed the rest of our time.  As we were packing up, we were told by one of the workers that the couple had paid for the fee for the climb and bought all 3 girls t-shirts.  Needless to say we were shocked and appreciated the gift that they gave us.

Yes, Ella had to check and make sure Maria was doing ok, several times.

3rd Birthday

At the end of September Ella officially became 3 years old (and she is totally embracing the attitude that comes with the age).

She loved the cake!

One month as a family of 3

Yesterday marked one month of being home with Ella.  We ended up going to a Renaissance Faire with my mom and nephew.  The older kids had a lot of fun looking at things from the past, watching jousting, and even learned a few things along the way.  Ella spent most of the day getting pushed in the stroller with some much needed breaks where she walked around.  We all had a lot of fun and found some special treasures for the kids.  Maria even got to have a henna design on her hand.

 

I have also had a lot of people ask me how Maria likes being a big sister.  Well, most of the time Maria finds Ella to be funny and fun.  She cracks up with laughter when Ella toots (which seems to happen a lot).  She is extremely happy when Ella requests to be picked up by her or wants to sit on her lap.  It is quite obvious that Ella is in awe of Maria.  There are moments where I catch Ella looking at Maria with a bit of hero worship in her eyes.  Then there are times when Maria is frustrated because Ella is touching everything (more specifically her things that are off limits) or Ella is puttin her slobbery fingers on Maria or Ella is crying/tantruming.  In those moments Maria is not thrilled with her little sister.  But those moments are few and far between.  Most of the time we have the silly moments like today when Ella was laying on Maria's legs and saying "tickle, tickle" over and over again.  Or Ella pretending to read Maria's social studies book with her.

I hope their relationship as sisters and friends continues to grow and that as they grow older they will realize how special it is to have each other as sisters.

Bonding

Yes, there is a big difference in Maria and Ella's ages.  Yes, there are times when a crying little sister is not fun at all for Maria (or for me to be honest).  Yes, both girls have special needs.  We spend way too much time in different doctor and specialist offices.  Yes, both girls were considered waiting children.  Neither were chosen by families in Bulgaria to be adopted, none of the thousand plus files waiting for a referral specified a child with their specific needs.  

Against all odds we are becoming a family of 3.  Some days are hard (adopting a toddler in many ways is a lot harder than adopting an 11 yr old).  I feel like I'm juggling a lot of things at once....but it does feel doable right now.  And then there are the moments like these.....

They laugh and giggle a lot.  They tickle each other and make silly faces at each other.  They are sisters.  We are a family.

1 week home

I'm not sure why the last post didn't publish last week.  Sorry for anyone waiting for an update that didn't get one.

Ella has been home a week.  She is currently wearing size 12 month clothing, most recent weight 19 pound and 31.5 inches tall.  Ella is doing awesome!  She pretty much eats anything put in front of her.  She is eating solid foods (which she wasn't doing in February).  She engages in pretend play and prefers playing with her toy dishes the most.  She likes coloring (mostly scribbles, but is using the proper pinch and pocket hold).  Ella does a lot of imitating too.  She talks all the time too, some is easily understood, other words are very much little kid speak.  She has shown an interest in the toilet, much to my surprise.  She is sleeping well and taking a nap daily.  We are working on Ella knowing boundaries within the home and complying when told no/nay and other simple directions.  She is catching on quickly.  She tests her limits frequently, but is learning mom isn't going to let her get away with things that are not appropriate.  

Maria is handling things so well!  She is amazing.  I truly have worried at times about how she is dealing with certain things, but she and I have our talks.  At first Maria was sad that Ella didn't want much to do with her, now Ella has decided that Maria is a lot of fun and should be followed and copied all the time (I think there is a little bit of big sister hero worship going on).  Maria has expressed annoyance when Ella plays specific games like take her shoes off and have Maria put them back on several times in a row.  Maria also has a big first next week....first day of 8th grade!  She is growing up so quickly!

As for me....well, I can say Ella's adjustment is different than Maria's was.  I feel like I am adjusting to having a little one always under foot.  I am figuring out my limits and ways to help Ella learn specific concepts that will make a huge difference.  

Ella

Ella is officially home!  After much consideration I decided it was best to have Ella escorted from Bulgaria to me.  I was lucky that a friend from Bulgaria was willing to escort her and honestly it was the perfect solution for us.  

Ella left the orphanage on August 3 and spent 10 days with my friend in Sofia.  She transitioned very well and quickly showed off how smart she is.

Yesterday she traveled on her first airplane and did very well

We met my friend Maria at the airport and we were finally reunited with Ella.  Ella wasn't really sure about yet another transition and leaving Maria (escort).  The car ride back to the hotel and first hour at the hotel involved a lot of crying and being upset.  She was also very tired since she didn't sleep on the airplane.  After a while she started warming up to us well and all we saw was smiles and giggles.  She does cry if anyone picks her up except me.  

Maria is thrilled to be a sister and Ella is very interested in her too.

And she finally fell asleep

Court

On Tuesday I learned that we passed court!  I'm officially a momma to two girls now!  Maria is excited about becoming a big sister and we are both anxious to go get Ella (little sis).  Now we are just waiting for the court decree to be signed (by law they must wait 7 days) and then for a new birth certificate.  I'm hoping pick up will be sometime at the end of July, but it will most likely be at the beginning of August.  

We also have a matching grant through our RR account, which will hopefully be met before we go to pick Ella up.

Also looking at one last fundraiser to do, to help with any additional travel expenses that might arise.  Recently there have been some issues with the system printing visas being down and delaying flights home.

June

Somehow I missed doing a post for June!  Not sure how that happened.  June brought summer vacation finally (we both needed it).  We also found out Maria will be needing a new AFO and a new KAFO.  Right now her current KAFO isn't bracing her leg well enough to give her the support she needs when walking and her AFO is at the age where it simply needs to be replaced.  So we are in the process (now longer due to the changes in healthcare) to get new braces.

June also brought an adaptive sports camp.  Maria had tried most of the sports before, but this was a new situation where she only knew one of the kids....sadly that child didn't really want to interact with Maria.  She did end up meeting a couple nice girls and they had a lot of fun together.  Camp also brought a few frustrations.....for Maria some of the games she didn't understand the rules or concepts of.  Sadly the concept of tag was one that needed to be explained to her.  It was frustrating for me to see and hear adults talking about my child, but not even attempt to help her gain the skills she wants to have.  Overall it was a good experience, but it also showed me that if Maria wants real coaching in specific sports we will need to go to the Chicago area and work with GLASA.  Thankfully that group has been amazing in the past and extremely friendly.  Last year when we went to the NJDC we saw their group and the surrounded us to make us feel welcomed.  Several of the adults, including the woman who started the group asked why they hadn't heard from us in a while.  When they heard about Maria's surgery they were very understanding and kind.  I know that doing this will mean cutting back in other areas, but I also know Maria needs a chance to see if track is something she really wants to pursue.

June also brought more waiting.  Waiting to hear about a court date.  I finally heard that we had a court date about the middle of the month.  

May

Life has been so crazy busy!  I'm ready for summer and some time to actually get a few things done.

Maria update

Maria has officially finished her first track season!  There were ups and downs.  Maria is becoming very aware and angry about not being treated the same as her able bodied peers.  She is starting to become quite demanding for things to be equal.  It isn't always easy since many changes in track would need to happen at a state or federal level to be perceived as more equal to Maria.  Sadly those kind of changes take time, energy and money.  For me the thing that is the most frustrating is that many of the adults don't see how those inequalities feel to Maria.  An example would be Maria participated and technically won 6 races, however she was only awarded with two ribbons because the other schools didn't recognize her races.  So, on the day awards were handed out, I had an upset kid who didn't understand why she only got two ribbons when she was expecting six.  I was torn on this one to be honest.....Maria needs to learn she might not always get the recognition she deserves and needs to find validation from within, but I also understood why she was upset she put in a lot of work and was the only one in her specific race.  

Other than that Maria is finishing up the school year.  There seems to be a lot of work this last month, but she is getting through it.

Adoption update

Waiting.  I got word at the beginning of the month that I got my Article 5 letter.  It has been translated and I'm waiting for my file to be signed off on and to be assigned a court date.  So, right now the word is wait.  I'm also waiting to hear on something regarding Maria.....not sure when that answer will come. Waiting isn't always easy or fun, but it is part of the process.  I do have a $1000 matching grant right now through our RR fundraising site.  I'm thinking about putting a fundraiser together to help with the final fees and meet this matching grant.  

April

Well, the month is half over!  Hard to believe.  My life has actually been very busy between work and Maria participating in track.  So, here is a brief update for everyone....

Maria: has had her first track meet!  She raced in the 100 meter by herself.  This is due to the state regulations saying that wheelchair racers are not to race with able bodied racers (something my child wants changed).  It has been a learning opportunity for us and for the school.  We don't always agree, but everyone wants what is best for Maria....we just view it differently.  With April also brought a big milestone.....Maria has been surgery free for one year!  I'm really hoping we don't have any more surgeries for a long, long time!  Maria also graduated from her PT outside of school.  She is at the point where she can safely walk and can do steps too.  The issue is more of her wanting to do the walking, which a lot is due to been a typical teenager.  Overall she is doing well....a little tired and moody after long track practices.  Also her arm strength and muscles are really getting strong and hard!  Here is Maria racing at her first meet!

http://youtu.be/7wNnjFxq9AM

Adoption:  Not much to report.  I filled out the next round of paper work after returning from our visit trip.  At the end of our spring break I got notice from USCIS that they didn't get one of the forms needed to send our file to the U.S. Embassy.  So, I filled the form out again and sent it in.  Yesterday, I got the notice of approval for the next step in the adoption process.  Hopefully before the end of the month we will have an article 5 for Little Sister and will be awaiting the MOJ signature.  I haven't heard any news on how Little Sister is doing.  I know she is well loved and cared for where she is and I just keep hoping that they do not shut her orphanage down prior to our pick up trip.  I know she is very attached to her caretakers and do not want her to have to go through an additional separation and placement if it can be prevented.  While we wait we have been getting some outfits and items for her.  I have been talking with a PT and OT that I know about things to do that will help her once she is home.

Maria update

Not long after coming home from visiting little sister, we had an exciting day at Maria's school.  Our state adaptive sports guy (Mike) brought Maria's new racing chair for track to her school.  He met with her coaches and went over the chair with them. Maria got to learn how to transfer into it.  It is a beautiful chair and we are so excited to have it.  Mike taught Maria how to turn it, which she got down very quickly.  He suggested she focus on the 100 meter race this year since the middle school only has a dirt track, which she cannot use.  Maria has been going to practices for a week and a half now.  She is really enjoying it and getting really fast in her racing chair and her everyday chair!  She has also been extra tired and grumpy as a result (which seems to be typical for a lot of kids involved in after school activities).  So far things are going well....not perfect.  I'm deciding which battles need fighting and which don't....not sure how the season will end up at this point.

Maria also has been told by her PT that she needs to be walking more than in her chair.  This is wonderful news, but she wasn't overly thrilled about it because she knows it means more work for her. It is hard to believe that yesterday marked one year since her 15 hour surgery where her cord was untethered and repaired and tomorrow will mark one year from her 13 hour spinal fusion surgery.  We were in a completely different place last year....I'm glad that we are through that time and Maria is regaining skills....although she still has several more to gain before she is as independent as she once was.  I know we will get there....until that happens I get to be a track mom and cheer her on.