Hope

I would describe myself as being usually optimistic.  There are some areas where my skeptic side comes out, but usually that is due to either past history or knowledge of the specific issue.  Trust me, being a social worker I have seen or heard about almost anything you can and can't imagine.  Yet, after having my MSW degree for almost 9 years (doesn't seem like it has been that long) I still am able to maintain hope.  Hope in the kids and families that I work with.  Hope that one day our system will improve and help to keep kids safe.  Hope that people will make good choices for themselves, their children, our country and the world.

This started to make me think about adoption.  I have many hopes for my adoption.  I am anxious to meet the child that I will adopt.  I'm anxious to do so many things with the child I will adopt.  But at what point do waiting parents give up hope....what is the "deal breaker" in the process.  I hope that everyone who chooses to go on this journey understands that there is a lot of waiting and anticipation.  Waiting can be very difficult at times and I know of other waiting parents who are reaching that point of loosing hope.   So, I began to wonder at what point might I start to loose hope.  I don't know the answer to that right now.  I know that for me the most difficult part of waiting is not being in control....not just of the adoption, but more in the area of making changes in my life.  It's not that I want to make any major life changes...I love my job, I'm not ready to move and I still don't have the desire to get married.....It's more that the control of making a change is not as easy right now because of being a waiting parent.  It is a feeling of being stuck.  I really dislike this feeling.....so, how do I change this feeling, can I change it.  I'm not sure on those answers either.  But I am really trying to process through them (it might be time to pull out the book Man's Search for Meaning, it helps me to look at things from a different perspective).  I still have hope and remain positive about this journey, but know that there may be a day when I won't.  So, I guess my question to go out to the blog universe is how do you maintain hope through this journey.  What tools do you use to manage the ups and downs of being a waiting parent?