The journey home

We traveled on Friday to Sofia.  It was nice to be back in the city and in a hotel with an elevator.  We talked about going out but I wasn't sure what the subway system looked like, if I would be able to safely get Maria on and off of it.  So instead we hung out at the hotel and eventually had dinner at the restaurant.  We were able to meet and have dinner with another family using our agency too.  We spent dinner talking about our first trips and learning more about each other.  Since we both had early flights we went upstairs for bed.  That night was the first time Maria really cried on the trip....we had a busy trip and she was not ready to leave her birth country. I comforted her the best that I could and reminded her we will come back again one day.  She has such a love for her birth country and her adoptive country too.  Maria finally fell asleep, I on the other hand didn't sleep really at all.  During the week I had caught a cold and was coughing like crazy.....since I didn't want to wake Maria up, I didn't get much sleep.  

We woke up around 3:45 am to be at the airport around 4:45.  Our plane was scheduled to leave at 6:45.  We were early and ready to go.....our plane was not.  Mechanical difficulties.....we ended up finally leaving around 9am....and missed our connecting flight to Chicago by 30 minutes.  When airport assistance finally came there was a mix up and they didn't have Maria's wheelchair.....someone had checked it through to our final stop....honestly at this point I lost it a little bit (nothing like a missing $5000 wheelchair that child needs to push a mom over the edge).  We were taken to the ticket counter to figure out what we would do next.  A nice man from our first flight told us that the flight to Pittsburgh was full and they were being told that no one could leave until the next day.  Needless to say this was not acceptable to me at all, but I took a deep breath and believed it would work out.  And it did.  The airline made an acception for us because of Maria's special need.  They didn't feel it would work well for us to have to wait overnight without her wheelchair.  So we rushed through security and to the flight.  Maria and I were rushed onboard, where we discovered the flight was not full at all.  

The flight was long and fairly uneventful other than Maria deciding she was sick of being in an airplane.....sorry kiddo we are stuck until we land.  We did have an amazing flight crew who were extremely helpful with us and we were also surrounded by several members of the Navy.  We arrived in Pittsburgh with no issues....quickly got our stuff and through security again.  Then headed for our final flight to Chicago....which we almost missed because I read the ticket wrong.  But we made it in time!  This flight was also not full at all and we were able to relax until we touched down in Chicago.  Once we got to Chicago (with Maria's wheelchair) we got our bags and headed to our car.  After so much traveling we opted to go to a hotel verses stay with friends....honestly we were grumpy and tired....just needed food and a bed at that point.  Honestly, sleep hit us both fast and we were out until mid morning.  We then packed up again and headed home.  It was good to be home and we turned in early again that night.  

Visiting little sister

We visited little sister a total of 8 times in 5 days.  The visits were usually between an hour and 90 minutes long.  During our morning visits the social worker from the nearby town would attend the meetings.  It was quite obvious that little sister wanted nothing to do with her.  During the afternoon visits Maria actually hung out in the hotel room due to the stairs and the amount of energy it took her to go up and down them.  So those visits were more for little sister to get to know me better.  First thing to know is little sister is in a very small orphanage, from what we were told it will most likely close before the end of the year.  There are only 10 or 11 children there including little sister.  The children also range in ages from an infant to 10 years old.  With the number of children and age range, little sister actually gets a lot of one on one attention.  She has a preferred staff member who dotes on her.  It is extremely good that she has these connections and bonds at the age she is.  With preferred people she is very happy, giggly and charming child.  For the most part they are quick to stop her tears, allowing her to get her way a little too often.  Because of these things she was very hesitant to come to us.  She preferred the people who she knew, which developmentally is to be expected.  She did love the little Gerber puffs we brought and willing came to us to be fed a puff or if she could grab a handful to get several at one time.  She loves bubbles and popping them.  She also enjoyed stacking cups and a shape sorter,  she liked the butterfly picture album we brought, but I suspect a lot of that had to do with the noise it makes while turning the pages.  

She is quite clever and figures things out quickly.  The staff are quite charmed by her and the things she does.  The staff was also extremely interested in Maria.  They asked about her every day at each visit.  They seemed amazed to see a child adopted with such a severe special need doing so well.  They were also very pleased that little sister would have Maria as a big sister and be a cultural link for her as she grows up.  Little sister's doctor was able to answer some questions I had about little sister's condition.  I know the specialist we will be following up with once she is home.  At this point she has 6 month check ups with a specialist in country, but no therapies.  She will be needing PT and OT.  I'm also suspecting she will need to be checked out by an opthomologist to ensure everything is fine with her eyes.  Overall she is making great improvements without theapy right now and I'm sure will continue to catch up once she is home.  

Day 1 and 2

Well, we left for Bulgaria on the 21st.  I should start out by saying Maria decided to get a virus on Tuesday before we left, so she had been sick just prior to the trip.  Friday we drove to the suburbs of Chicago and stayed in a hotel that night since there was a snow storm in the forecast.  The trip was rather uneventful, but long.  Maria did great on the airplanes and was positive and upbeat.  We were helped by airport assistance at all the airports we were in.  I have to admit the concerns I had about airport security ended up not being as bad as I expected for Maria.  They were helpful and very clear about exactly what they had to do and did it in a quick and  appropriate way.  We had a little down time at both O'Hare and Madrid.

We finally got into Sofia on Sunday afternoon around 3pm and were met by our translator for the trip.  He was kind enough to wait at the airport with us while our friend Manuela flew in from Switzerland with her boyfriend.  They got in about 90 minutes after we did.  It was so great to finally met her in person and for Maria to be reunited with someone who did so much to help her while she was in the orphanage.  

We left with Manuela and her boyfriend to go back to Stara Zagora and visit Maria's former orphanage.  Manuela had been great in organizing the visit for us.  I was a little worried about how Maria would respond to being back and seeing it without Z being there.  I was also worried about Maria being upset that she couldn't communicate as well in Bulgarian.  We had a 2 1/2 hour drive.....it was nice to sit in the van and chat with Manuela about many things and the joy both Maria and Manuela had at seeing each other again.  Along the trip to Stara Zagora we stopped and ate dinner at one of the many Happy restaurants throughout the country.  Maria was happy to get one of her favorite Bulgarian dishes and even some ice cream.  We then finished our drive and ended up at the Fondation Swissclinical building for the night.  We got a nice tour of the building and were able to sleep in some of the bedrooms made for the team when they are doing their visits.  It was nice to finally have a bed to sleep in at that point and the rooms were perfect for what we needed.

Monday morning we got up and ready.  We ate some banitsa for breakfast and then drove to the orphanage.  We pulled up as close as possible to the orphanage.  Excitement was in the air.  Maria was so excited about going back.  As we drove up I noticed the director and assistant director were both there waiting for us.  No sooner did we park the van and one of the male orphanage workers was at the door, picking Maria up and taking her up the stairs.  Another worker had picked up her wheelchair and took it up too.  Manuela, BF and I went up the stairs too, only to find Maria had been ushered, like the princess she is, into the director's office and onto the couch.  We sat down and talked for a while.  They were thrilled to see Maria and presented her with two books, gave her a cookie and asked many questions.  I had let other friends who have children adopted from Stara Zagora know that we would be visiting and would be willing to take photos for the staff to see.  I gave the photos to the director and he was pleased to see the changes in the children.  I was also able to tell him that one of the girls who had been on the orphanage table cricket team and was now living in a different city is in the process of being adopted.  He said this was the best news I could give him and he even gave us the girl's cricket certificate and medal to send to her soon to be family.  

The director called for the male worker to come again and Maria was once again picked up and whisked away upstairs where several of the workers that had cared for Maria were waiting to welcome her back.  When I had first visited Maria I didn't go to her floor, so this was a first for me.  In the small room the staff had set up a small celebration.  There was a traditional Bulgarian bread, juice, fruit and gifts from the caretakers.  Maria was the center of attention, getting lots of hugs, kisses and loved on.  I also was hugged and kissed by many of the staff.  They had many questions...they asked about Maria's surgeries from last year.  We got to see Maria's old room and the staff gave Maria back the stuffed cat I had brought her on my visit trip with her.  As our time came to an end we took some photos with the staff.  I was happy we got some since when I picked up Maria to come home I wasn't able to get any photos.

After the visit we then headed to the town little sister lives in.  We went to the orphanage there and had our vist meeting with little sister.  She is tiny and knows what she wants.  She has a preferred caretaker who she loves a lot!  The visit was short since we were disrupting her normal nap time to meet.  After that we went to the hotel and got settled in.  The hotel was nice, but didn't have an elevator so Maria had to go up and down the steps on her bottom....the staff was great and brought our meals up to us so Maria wouldn't have to do the steps more than necessary.  

Adoption update

Things have been quiet.  With adoption there seem to be two phases....hurry and get everything done and then wait.  We have been doing a lot of waiting.  Waiting for dossier to be submitted, waiting for the referral, waiting for travel dates.  While we have waited I celebrated another birthday, Maria has gained more skills in basketball and made HUGE progress with walking.  Then this week.....feeling a little blue that the month was going to pass before anything was known.  It happened....things started to move in the adoption.  It never ceases to amazing me how an adoption can go from standing still to warp speed and the looks and statements of confusion of those who don't understand the process.  

I'm not going to lie....the thought of traveling with Maria to Europe makes me nervous.  Navigating airports and security with people who do not understand her medical issues and most likely will not take the time to listen or care makes me very anxious.  My biggest concerns are the airports and security here and not in Europe.  I know that probably sounds really funny, but my experience is that European countries on a whole are much more accomendation to those who have disabilities in the airport settings at least.  I'm also worried about taking Maria to a country that is not use to seeing children or adults with visible disabilities in public....we are not going to get the friendly smiles or helpful people there like we do here.  We have already run into some issues with hotels.....but with all that is worrisome to me, I know it will work out.  We will make it work out together as a family.  It might not always be easy and I suspect there will be tears along the journey, but we are also both very excited about the journey to finally meet little sister.

My heart....

Today I waited after work for Maria....she was participating in her first basketball practice at school.  I had just met with the vice principal and Athletic Director (AD).  We discussed what participation for Maria would look like.....I won't lie, it was hard.....not because the school is against it, they are very open to making it work.....more because of what it means.  Yes, Maria can participate in practices, but not games.  Yes, Maria will learn basketball skills and team work skills, but it isn't quite the same as what her peers will experience.  Honestly, it is a huge step for the school, for other kids like Maria.....but it also points out once again the differences between her and her peers.  Once again I grieve for the things Maria will not experience.  

  On the way home, after a long day....Maria recounted every moment of basketball practice.  I told her she wouldn't be allowed to play in games, but that she can attend games to cheer her teammates and friends on.  She was disappointed, but I also told her this was a huge step and the goal is for her to improve her skills so she can play with the adult wheelchair basketball team during the summer.  She was satisfied, even though I have mixed feelings about it.  I'm thrilled she is being included as much as she is, I wish she could play basketball with her friends in games and represent her school.  For now we have much to celebrate, but still more work to be done.

Christmas and New Years

We had a nice almost 2 weeks off.  It was really nice to just relax ad spend time together.  We spent Christmas Eve and day with my parents.  My brother and his kids came by too.  Christmas Day, Maria accidentally told my grandparents and aunt about little sister.  We hadn't said anything because my mom asked me not to....it is officially out.  Can't say everyone is excited about it, but it isn't their choice.  I'm sure once little sister is home they will change their minds.  Maria felt horrible that she accidentally told and even worse that extended family isn't being overly supportive.  In the end, it came out, they know and we are moving on.  Here are a few pictures from Christmas.

Adoption update

Today I sent off the final documents to my agency.  They will hopefully they will be sent to little sister's country to be translated on Friday.  I'm hoping that everything will be translated and ready to be registered shortly after the new year.  Which should mean that we could be traveling in late January or early February to meet little sister.  

Slowly I have been picking up little things here and there for little sister.  I have a few outfits to take her based on what I expect her size to be (I'm hoping she has grown some since the report was written).  I am also finding a few toys to take along for her to explore.  I'm getting more and more excited about going over to meet her.  I cannot wait to see what her little personality is like.